My husband loves crossfit. He's 215lbs of solid muscle and frequently comes home with a frowny face because a girl was faster than him at burpees or something. If I were into that whole screaming/cheering/working out together thing, I'd probably try it, but I'm not, so Pilates and horseback riding it is for me!

While we're on this topic, can we talk about the lack of sexy options for large dogs? My 65lb male pitbull really wanted to be a sexy dudebro for Halloween this year, but due to his size, our only option was turtle.

Stepford Wives gone even more horribly, horribly wrong.

I was just about to ask this. I tried tilting my head sideways, pug-style. I tried reading it in my Tea Party grandmother's condescending voice. I tried reading it backwards. Nothing. I'm lost.

Oh I figured out what the problem is! She's talking about the Republicans, but she keeps transposing "liberal" and "tea party wingnut." Someone get this woman a competent editor...

Because then women might be able to get educated and get better jobs, and we all know what happens when you empower women.... TERRORISTFEMINAZISLUTBAGS! Also, they stop voting Republican.

Aaand I just spit lemonade all over my desk. Thanks a lot.

The alternative campaign?

In DC, got men should not:

Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit when we got married. I actually kept my last name for about a year to try it out, but eventually decided it was best for us to be 2 parts of the same whole. And my last name was singular, while his was plural, and both are hard to spell anyway, so hyphenating would have been a…

Oh I would love this, but I'm not sure she has quite enough name recognition yet. We'll say Warren 2024, how's that?

Oh they accomplished something alright. Hillary 2016!

It's just a matter of finding the right salon! I go to PR at Partners in DC, and they're awesome. I love my new color. And my stylist doesn't give me layers like every other female in the world, because they don't work on me and I don't know how to manage them.

Did anyone see the caption under the first before/after picture? Philip McElroy ditched his “stupid scruffy” image for a cleaned-up look that bagged him a threesome.

Dressage - so much sitting trot and use of my seat, if I wear anything that moves even slightly, it's so uncomfortable.

Yes! I'm an equestrian, too, and I only wear thongs when riding because otherwise... SERIOUS chafing.

Have you ever heard of a bad idea so sublimely tasteless and terrible that you fall to the ground and mutely curse the gods who have forsook you and all of your wretched mortal companions?

I eat right, work out 4-6 times a week (running, pilates, horseback riding) and will never look like that again. I did at 16-19, because I had an eating disorder. But my metabolism and mindset have changed at pushing-30, and nothing short of cosmetic surgery is going to make me look like that. I'm in the process of…

Something about an overprivileged 20 year old trying to look 'gangsta' just annoys the fuck out of me.

Wait wait wait, but what if it's conceived, and it's GAY from conception? THEN WHAT?!