elizabethmiervaldis
ItUsedToWatchMeSleep
elizabethmiervaldis

Her face seriously changed. She was barely recognizable.

Please, please everyone commit to this: only refer to Donald Trump as Donny Trump from now on. An occasional “Don” is okay too.

be honest with yourself that what you’re really saying with the look is “I can’t let go.”

Surprisingly, still not as bad as ‘90s country decor. I have a wicker phobia.

Soft toilet seats are the devil’s work. It should be a crime to buy or sell one. Punishable by death.

LOL

I don’t care too much about either Beyoncé or Pokemon.

joanna can we do this privately

I just want to say that I have worn a number of dresses that look very similar to the ones pointed out in this article and Ellie sees me every day and now I understand her blank smiles

Fantastic, now I need to go dig up all of my victims and put them somewhere else. Thanks, Nintendo!

I ordered the “Helena” box.

Suddenly I want to surprise all my friends and family with birthday tattoos.

So if someone came into your house and gunned down a guest, and then the family of your guest sued you for not hiring armed guards for your house, you’d go bankrupt rather than do anything to defend yourself? You’d accept the loss of all your money, your home, a good chunk of your prospects for retirement because

They’re not demanding the victim’s families pay the legal cost. They’re demanding the people who initiated an unreasonable lawsuit against them pay the cost of that lawsuit.

Whatever, teachers aren’t saints and everyone has to blow off steam about their work. It’s also a well known fact that teenagers are awful (I can say that, having once been an awful teen myself). Maybe work on your firewalls or something.

It’s written by the super smart and hilarious Irish lass, Sharon Horgan (Catastrophe, Pulling), so deal me in!

I came for the snark but stayed for the feels.

Ugh for god’s sake, she said she was retiring from acting so just do it already! Otherwise this will be yet another movie that’s ruined by her terrible acting.

PartyNextDoor?

In related news, this is the first time Nick Cage has been able to perfectly depict my feelings: