you're just jealous that my mother still speaks to me

and that she didn't disown me like yours did you

She's right, though. It takes a tremendous amount of "strength" & "grace" to put up with a lot of bullshit from dudes (the "compliments", the patronizing, the ignoring you when you're right and calling you the F*CK OUT when you don't know every last detail about something) and just keep your mouth shut entirely like a…

Your mom's a loser. Sucks for her to have to put up with your dumbass mouth at the dinner table at Thanksgiving.

RBG is my hero.

I had mirena for a long time and had no complaints, almost regret getting it removed. My cousin on the other hand, it on baby number 4, thanks to being in the .01% of the failure rate of a super safe contraceptive. Don't know if I blame mirena or my cuzzo for that.

what's even worse is when they have just average children. not even abominably stupid ones, but ones that even fail to do anything but skirt the cusp of mediocrity. i know of a couple like that, and i can sense how much it kills them, poor genius idiots.

ABC was like, "Our daytime ratings are down, women from this epoch cannot relate! However, womenzz from teh Renaissance circuit... I mean, as long as they're in character, they are totes on board with no vaccines because they didn't exist, and a flat earth because what else was there."

lol @ the idea of Eric being on a team because when was that again? o rite, when she was playing Daisy Duke. UP TOP!

basically, they're like, "Jess, hey... Can you just go back to when you were 22... and stay there? Like, preserved in amber, forever? Thanks, hon. Never change. Literally. xoxo, Star Mag."

A Limited Edition Olivia Pope Red Wine Bath Tub?

it's gonna be a tight-rope walk. especially listening to all that 70's funk as a soundtrack to my life, while i bitchslap people verbally and tell them what's what.

purchase Joe Biden's memoir, "Roundin' Up Tail & Making 'Em Wail" at theonion.com

yea a big problem is that police crimes are only reviewed by internal affairs. If a cop in internal affairs has half a brain and wants to keep his/her job (or worse has political ambitions) they aren't gonna go after big name police or rock the boat too badly. Check out the O'Haire v City of San Francisco for an…

i get calls every day of people telling me they got a boot to the face followed by 3 guns to the spine, just because they were standing near a building that was closed and had a security cam up. cops said they looked like they were "acting suspicious." even if they basically play dead, if they even do so much as ask,…

i did AirBnB in Palermo, Sicily, and i rented out the penthouse of a 3 floor townhouse in the part of town near the University. i had a beautiful view of a bunch of cattedrales and a ton of revolutionary street art that said stuff like, "EAT THE RICH." on top of that, i had a pied a terre all to myself and my hosts…

i was always really reserved as a kid so i got to go to fancy places so i think that set my mom up for unrealistic expectations for my brothers. didn't help that they came when she was almost 10 years older, she had a lot less fight in her. she was like, "why won't they just listen and do what they are told?" umm they…

i remember my family once tried to go to a 3 star (only a 3 star!) restaurant in SF when i was about 13 and my brothers were 1.5 and 3. i don't remember all the gory details, but basically, one wanted to hide under the table and my mom was pleading with him to behave and the other was sitting in an old timey wooden…

i'm not sure about e-cigs! my bro has a vape and that's totally reloadable. i think there are certain models of e-cigs that come with a replaceable cartridge part, and you buy like a main "body" for like $20 (depending on the brand, i know Blu is a big one) and the cartridges are inexpensive after the initial…

like many of these vape things, i assume you load it with cartridges of your choosing. at which point, you can elect to add THC oil or not. so basically, it's a really tiny vape or e-cig that looks like a joint that maybe won't get all clogged with hash oil resin? i don't know how these things work.

there's a great one in Berkeley called Savers where the stuff is good quality, all the money goes to Epilepsy foundation, and they pay the people pretty decent wages there, too.