try finding a phrase it CAN'T translate! i find old R&B songs "break" translation party. it's the slang.

it's like an old timey version of translationparty.com, using Aramic instead of Japanese, except now people are trying to pass regulations about my uterus about it.

I dressed up as a cowgirl for halloween once and took some steel cap guns purchased at a Dude Ranch in Nevada to school. This was in '02. I was punished by having them confiscated. Now, I'm sure for that transgression, I would be held without bail.

This is a valid question. I think that police ought to respond with the minimum amount of force required to restrain an offender, as in any violent offender situation. The problem is, in these situations where there is a person who is becoming violent, is intoxicated and confrontational, i.e., has given police a…

Hey, I don't think it was uncalled for in THIS particular situation, where there are thousands upon thousands of non-student agitators in the fray, most of whom are intoxicated, and many of whom are becoming violent or resisting at least. But it has become Campus Police protocol to dispatch dudes in riot gear for…

Yeah and now they got JANET MOTHAFUCKIN NAPOLITANO, former Head of Dept of HOMELAND SECURITY, as the tippy tip top of the UC System??? Now SHE of all people is the President of the UCs? Coincidence? After all those protests? After all the rioting, after those kids got hit with the pepper spray at Davis, after all the…

Dude, UC Campus Police are out of CONTROL. Anything to get into their fucking riot gear, and they stand there like these brooding sentinels just to let you know, "OK, do your thing, but step out of line and I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE THE VERMIN YOU ARE." I went to UC Davis and was hit with a paintball full of pepper spray…

Do you work in the legal profession? Because I do. And from what I have seen, no person gets to be a judge from academic merit & hard work alone. You have to network your freaking socks off. And every Tom, Dick and Harry with a Bar Association Card is trying to shove their subtly off-white, tasteful thick watermarked…

best part about that joke is, she had another joke earlier in her lineup that featured the n-word. and the TV producer guy was like, "you can't say n***** on TV, say something else. say 'the n-word.' " she says, "um, what about chink? probably can't say that on TV, right? have to change that?" he shook his head and…

He had a cake at a halloween party that was shaped like an Amy Winehouse zombie, I think the year after Ms. Winehouse passed away. One of his guests posted a photo on twitter, and it was.... graphic. Candy cigarette and all.

I don't know, I could benefit from a good screamer as an instructor, in the same way that an obnoxious alarm clock might stop me from hitting "snooze" just by being so, so annoying that I would not be able to fall back asleep after hearing it's blaring buzzer for a few go-rounds. But overly perky? SHOOT THEM DEAD.

i agree that this would work well as a gender-specific ad, if i wasn't a woman who also had a huge porn addiction. but maybe I'M the biased one here....

in unrelated news, i just found a convenient, close-to-home place to kill my brother and make it look like an accident. (he's extremely allergic to cat dander). AAAAND NOW I CONFESSED IT TO THE INTERNET HAHAHA JUST KIDDING Y'ALL!

not related at all, just here to say LUDDAT book!

my brother is a major foodie. he is 16, and kinda chubbs, and is the type that if my mom is not home to cook for him, he will get off his ass and make a real, full 3 course dinner. HE WILL NOT STARVE. i, on the other hand, will be like, "7:30 already? meh, apple jacks again." but—when it comes to lunches for school?…

i don't wear makeup because i am lazy and because it pisses me off that men get to go around with their bare faces and nobody is like "UGH what happened to you, are you sick or summfink?!" also, my skin is so much nicer without the makeup/wash/toner/moisturizer cycle if i take the makeup part out of the equation. but…

"The Wrong Mans" on Hulu. A normal guy who works a brain numbing office IT job is walking home from a party & he witnesses a horrible roll over car accident, and a ringing cellphone drops in front of him, presumably from the crash. It tells him a time and place to show up, and panic stricken, he tries to explain that…

They could also legalize then REGULATE prostitution, so as to give more agency to the prostitutes and sex workers themselves. Crazy idea!! But so crazy, it just might work... And with the added benefit of cops not having to bang any hookers, so, two-fer.

i bought one of these for an ex bf for his birthday one year, and he proceeded to put the whole pack of Big League Chew in his mouth at once. he then said to me with a lump of gum in a solid mass on one side of his cheek, "WHAT?! it's how you're supposed to consume it!" grossest thing i ever saw.