Yeah dude, that’s a really weird and violent fantasy. I mean, you basically just described Alamo Drafthouse but without good beer or popcorn and instead heaps of disproportionate violence.

The appropriate reaction would’ve been similar to that of Dodger Ross Stripling when Christian Yelich took a pretty good pitch of his and put it in the stands.

can’t believe I’m saying this, but The Decembrists had it right

And the clack clack clack of a goalie hitting the ice with his stick to signal the impending end of a penalty is one of the most underrated sports sounds.

Should have lead with the fact that you haven't actually watched him play, I would have stopped reading sooner

“presumable” because I haven’t watched a minute of MLS this season so I’ve not had the chance to subject his performances to my own visual examination

You got screwed in the playoffs.  Congratulations, you’re officially an NHL franchise.

If it’s more important for you to have an emotional “moment” than to have a fair outcome, go watch a fucking movie.  

HAHAHA i love this. Lets get it wrong so less people go through emotions!

Deadspin: VAR is awful

Yesterday, a reader emailed us to call Wei-Yin Chen “the Chris Davis of pitchers,” and now I want the two to face off. One of them would have to succeed, right?

They should have paused the game for him to take a lap around the field high fiving the fans.

Old jokes never die.
YO SHIT, I JUST WROTE THE TAG FOR THE SEQUEL!

But if you cry sometimes

Duran’t always get what you want.

Yeah, so Sanders has perhaps the largest proportion of PoC voter support out of any 2020 candidate, but sure, go ahead and erase them because they don’t share your centrist positions

Literally one of the biggest stories of the 2018 midterms was AoC, who went out to campaign with Sanders, who will most likely endorse…

welcome back

Classic self burn.

“Which bone is most likely to be infected with racism? Femur? Rib? Have medical professionals ever confirmed the existence of a racist bone?”

She said this was nothing more than young people wearing “a bunch of red, white and blue, supporting their president.