I used to think that my lack of belief in “one perfect solemate” was part of my dislike of the concept of destiny, but now I see that I was DESTINED to not believe so that I could one day say, with no second thoughts, that I wouldn’t repeatedly fuck a goat. Thank you destiny! My mother would be so proud and her herd…

I also had andouillette while in Paris. I walked into a quiet little cafe with a smiling waitress/possible owner who looked a lot like Virgina Madsen. It was my last day, so I threw down and said, “I’d like your most unusual dish, something I’ve never had before.” She hemmed and hawed for a moment before saying that…

On rare occasions, I think back to the tremendous fucking cash-swindle that was Mayweather- Pacquiao. I am grateful that none of my idiot friends were able to convince me come watch it (and give them money for the privilege). And I remember thinking that there were few more perfect places for a small meteor to hit…

Hoppy is just as disappointed in you, Yeo.

I don’t know if he was fired, but his ass is certainly gone. I looked him up from the first article and he hasn’t worked at Chitpotle since Dec. 2013.

“NEVER made me cringe?”

So...I guess this looks even worse now. Possibly history or terrorizing staff members?

Insert fist here

So the seal...is pretty much the real world version of this, right?

I think, therefore you must hear every asinine thing I thought.

I am really looking forward to trying this. My wife had to return to work this week and my nearly four-month old son has decided to deal with change by screaming inconsolably at my poor beleaguered mother-in-law while his mom is away. I may never get a mom-in-law side eye again if I can calm the little guy down.

Meanwhile, Trump has vowed to refer to all immigrants, refugees and non-white Americans under the blanket term “terrorist coloreds who cheered for 9/11 while committing 200% of crime on each other and 300% of crime on God-fearing white Americans.”

So I know the proper solution to this kind of filth-vomiting shit demon is to ignore them until they die. However, if anyone wants to find this guy’s number and set up a prank call-ring to make sure he hears “Let It Go” as much as humanly possible, I’m all in. My kid’s nearly to cartoon comprehending age anyway. I’m…

I’n starring the fact that she had his ass reported. Not the feet photos. Christ, that's messed up.

So as my wife is in the Navy, we have a fairly decent (and for America, awesome) paid maternity leave policy: four months off, to be spread throughout the first year, to be taken at anytime without the need for explicit permission. Combine that with my visiting and very helpful (if sometimes annoying) mother-in-law…

What up, Patriot League

Absolutely agree with you on Truckee, but damn it’s a pretty asylum. So with the Carson City girls, how soon after they found out you had possibilities outside the city did you find holes in your condoms?

As a former denizen of close-by Truckee, I too have a soft spot for Reno, for where the hell else did we have to go on a weekend?

I am tempted to pay attention for it the next time I go out eating. I am afraid I might leave drunk and distressed at the state of humanity that night, well moreso than usual.

This may be the weirdest application of Pinkham’s Law yet.