not 2018-version Fed. Sorry, man. This guy on the internet clearly just beat* Roger Federer.

wait, this is like those fake Coachella lineup posters, right

Great hypothetical question! I am reasonably out-of-shape but yes, I would be able to at least touch the ball once, or he would shank at least one ball.

Thanks, Asshole!

Great, now stoolie6969's gonna own us libs, THANKS SAMER

“Sheesh, drama queen.”

I really like the solitude. But the menu system really needs an overhaul, particularly the food/drink stuff. To make hunger and thirst so damaging and make it so damn difficult to find and use those items really sucks.

Sure is a bad look for Purdue. It’s a shame they had to...

His point is that he’s definitely not gay.

The intro text in the embedded video is 1000% more entertaining if you read "my wife!" in Borat voice

this headline!

narrator from the future:

Your #1 isn’t even an actual holiday for many people.

It’s pretty amazing how spot-on your must-visit/not-necessary-to-visit states list is. 

College football has been delivering games like that on a weekly basis, sometimes multiple games per week. Imagine if the NFL adopts the college overtime format?

The best they could do was to wave several American flags, and a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag, and—*****on a pole higher than any other*****—a large blue flag that read “TRUMP.”

I’m surprised and bummed that you didn’t write up the biggest game of the season for your Vikings.

I am Gustavo Arellano!

This is so spot-on. And worst of all, the line about so many people being "gone". They'll never admit they were wrong. They'll never admit they were duped. A couple ten million Americans exited reality and will live in their own for the rest of their lives.

Open question for you fine Kotaku-ians: Fallout 76 comes out on November 14th, but what part of the Earth do they use to determine that it’s November 14th? Is it UTC (essentially London’s time zone), or the moment it first becomes 11/14 at the International Date Line, or is it Eastern Time because Bethesda’s based…