To be fair, when Allied pilots were shot down over Ireland, we gave them back. We kept the German pilots, though we did bring them to the cinema and to the pub. USSR - 30 million dead: Ireland, no bananas for six years; everyone did their bit.

The Constitutional path to independence for Ireland is in truth a historical unknowable. Elements of the British army in Ireland mutinied over the possibility of Home Rule. A million Unionists (out of a population of 5 or so million) signed a pledge to oppose Home Rule. Not sure if people who signed such a pledge in…

This was shown in Ireland a couple of months ago. The reviews and reception were … not complimentary

Just don't know who this film is for;

From memory that story is from an article in Uncut. In Magnificent Seven, Brynner was the bigger star, and McQueen was making a name for himself. So McQueen kept stealing lines and fidgeting around in the background of scenes that were supposed to focus on Brynner. From anything I read about McQueen, he just didn't…

If they were actual clones, that would be cool. And absolutely terrifying.

Nah, the original kabuki theatre piece, The Swordsmen, which was based on an oral Chinese folk tale, Eight Ghosts.

And Brynner hated McQueen. Brynner was supposed to be the bigger star. There's a scene with Brynner standing on a mound of dirt giving a speech (he was shorter than McQueen apparently). Anecdotally, McQueen walked around the mound, kicking away the dirt

Aliens, but my memory is shot

And wear tights and a cape. Oh. As you were, then.

To be fair, all involved have pretty much admitted reusing the original plot of a New Hope to restart the franchise

My favourite Van Damme period is his Street Fighter years, when he was having a rampant affair with Kylie Minogue while being out of his mind on cocaine.

I merely implore the movie Gods to act, smite all involved, sell their women & children into slavery, and salt the film sets so nothing can be filmed for generations. Is that too much too ask?

Was that the one with Van Damme doing the splits in a pair of tighty whiteys? 1994 was a weird year, apparently.

A subversive theme of the original film (& what sets it apart) was that the villagers were looked down on by their sons, who initially idolised the gunslingers. And when the villagers ultimately stood up for themselves, their sons saw through the violence and "glamour" for what it was. Doubt this version will be so…

You jest, but that would have been so cool.

You're right to be honest, but I hadn't heard of this, & the trailer angried up my blood. Normally I wouldn't give a toss, but something about it seems so bland & soulless with nothing new to add to the original

Are you suggesting Eli Wallach was not an actual evil Mexican Bandito? Mind. Blown.

Or Peter Sartstedt of Where do you go to, my lovely? fame?

And instead of the best theme in movie history, they've used some BWAMP! BWAMP! & Rising Sun load of tits.