That’s what I was thinking.

Amusing that he thinks his parents’ net worth of $2mil is a flex.

i love that we just duct tape them to the seats like wild animals.  i hope i get to see this next week when i fly.  i wanna write on the duct tape like a cast on a broken arm.  

NOW we need an etymologist.

Do I care? It is a fucking fly, it lives ten days at the most. I’m just always glad that it isn’t a wasp. A wasp in the car is always a code brown event.

My whole life my concern was more what happens to the various insects in their new location.

Anyway, Justin has a friend named Herb

I am not usually that person but when I watched - ever so briefly - I said out loud, “stop skipping leg day.” 

And what are the relative positions of “lock door” and “wear pants” on the effort spectrum?

I fuck up so many things on the daily forgetting to lock doors barely makes my list

Hard pass. Just more “appbait”.

everything is turning to shit.

Evan’s even reached the point where he’s let friends borrow the [Scat Pack] Challenger for weeks on end

Also "followed their noises"

I disagree with your opening sentence.  Pizza is better if it has time to cool a little.  Less chance of burning your mouth and the cheese firms up a bit and is less likely to slide off.  That’s what makes it the perfect delivery food.

Shh, you bolded the quiet parts. They don’t like it when you do that.

And here I thought the two extra hot dogs were for sacrificing to the grill gods when it rolls between the grating and into the coals.

Traipsing is just trespassing with style

I’ve probably been drunk enough to wander into an unlocked restaurant, but I’ve never been drunk enough to be unable to identify dumplings or to cook them in cold water.