You we’re right. (Notice how I inserted a shitty apostrophe error?)

There’s actually a simple work around for this. Buy additional data from somewhere else (the “cool” grandpas that presently run mobile phone companies will eventually figure this one out). I pay US$45 per month for my Boost Mobile Android phone with (a whopping) 2.5-gig of data and then slather it with unlimited…

Oh, Clover *eye roll*

Err... the whole “innocent until proven guilty” thing is, specifically, “presumption of innocence” and falls within the realm of /criminal/ trials (burden of proof falls upon the prosecution). As Twitter, nor any private corporation, (stay with me here) is /not/ part of the Judicial branch Twitter does not have to…

Oh... Rolling Stone wrote about this. They’re the bastion of properly fact-checked journalism (their coverage of a thing that happened at University of Virginia is an excellent example of how RS will dot those T’s and cross those I’s while getting to the truthy-truth of a story).

So, if I understand correctly: Between now and Election Day every day with the word “day” in it there will be a debate.

Oh... there’s GMS in it... I’m suddenly GMS intolerant and will thus be unable to eat that /amazing/ cake. By being (self-identified) GMS intolerant I will instantly milk this in any social situation so that I’m perceived as “interesting” and can garner “sympths” and “feels”. I will also secretly make this cake and…

Oh... I’m sure he’s all “Lincoln Park” when hanging out with the douche-bros in Wrigleyville but when the shit hits the Telsa he’s suddenly “Lakeview”.

I’m (semi) enjoying the “white people” references to the Coen Brothers. They’re /Jewish/.

I blame society. If society really wanted me to do my laundry (going on about a month now of putting it off repeatedly [even now]) then society wouldn’t sell me Febreze (though I’ve been putting off buying Febreze for about three-weeks [even now]).

Okay... who is this person and why aren’t they turned on by my naked Hello Kitty tattoo? Oh... that’s right... I don’t own a TV.

This all becomes meaningless when you purchase /third party wireless data/ for your phone. As my phone (“Boost Mobile” [Sprint] which is short for “Customers wish they could shove their balls into our mouths”) limits me to 2.5-gig “unlimited” data and then throttles (down to ten-percent speed) the shit out of me (and…

It’s technically not a hammock unless he smokes some weed, takes a nap, and then makes love to Jimmy Buffet’s pig. This isn’t Viet Nam. There are rules.

So... all passwords become “My Little Pony” or “Gilmore Girls”. Got it... thanks.

But... but.. but... if a high-ranking Republican winds up in jail for this then they won’t be able to do a “foot pump” under a men’s bathroom stall in a mid-western airport and then... family values and shit.

Oh gosh... maybe it’s time to move beyond the daily “Here’s a desktop theme” bloggy-blog post. I understand they’re easy (and they pretty much write themselves because... they pretty much write themselves) but... you know... /stepping up your game/ and shit.

I’d totally stomp around in those (the padded ankle looks like a tremendous plus). Need more of a tread though.

Why would Jason Mewes try to kidnap Kevin Smith’s daughter? Was he going to use the money for acting lessons?

A NYC city bus can’t guarantee that the urine-soaked bus seat used properly artisanal urine so it’s highly unsuitable for Snake People due to... hmm... “feels” and shit.

“I was diagnosed with esophagitis after an antibiotic horse pill prescribed by a dermatologist got lodged in my esophagus and burned it.”