Millennials don’t even know what they’re doing. Believe me....they don’t know. People always tell me how much they don’t know....and how people a bit older, like my daughter Ivanka, are much, much better at sex. Much better. The best. Already in Crimea! Sad!

“I am innocent,” Davila said at the press conference. “All these false allegations have taken me completely by surprise. I have faced many challenges in my life, but nothing like this. I am honest, hardworking, who was raised in ideals and principals. I am putting all my faith in my attorney and the justice system to…

So...she loses her crown for allegedly using a professional makeup artist, but the blonde teen pageant chick used racial slurs on social media and she gets to keep hers? (Not to mention, it’s explained away as if “going through rough times” or whatever phrase they used is a viable reason to do such a thing.)

I love how you always pretend sexism isn’t real. It’s so charming in a gross, extraordinarily stupid way.

Dude, chill.

I’m still mad that when I was called for jury duty I was struck from juries repeatedly either because I used to work with domestic violence victims (and they were domestic violence cases) or because I’m now a children’s librarian (and it was child abuse case). Just because I’m informed doesn’t mean I’m not impartial.…

I honestly think the world is a better place when countries do not kill their own citizens. Not even little racist shits who deserve it.

Please don’t let his be the name on this inevitable milestone.

This is like one of those torture puzzle things where you scrape your knuckles, break 4 fingers, lose 5 pints of blood, and go insane before finding the delicious prize inside.

I’m a former Forever 21 employee who has a few former coworkers who are now at Zara. They look even more miserable now, and F21 is generally fondly referred to by me as “Satan’s Butthole.”

Don’t. Go shopping!

this is awesome ty!

This is so incredibly true. I've never had a friend who didn't absolutely hate it. Forever 21 is also another nightmarish place to work from what I've heard/seen.

I bet that will work, Gawker Media has a real interest in keeping reader favorites on board.

Meh, I have the DVD.

TAKE MY MONEY AND FILM THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

But alas, one of the problems of Kinja is not being able to edit the original post indefinitely to signal when one’s mind has been changed.

There has yet to be a true Mom Movie because I have yet to hear of a breast-pump slapstick scene. Let me set the scene which really needs to be in a Funny Lady Movie:

My BFF lost her mom to pancreatic cancer about 3 months after giving birth to her second child. As we’re going through her mother’s FOUR walkin closets…

Man, I can’t wait for you guys to get to the bottom of this!

I love that when they write about guys being “bad”, the men: