Don’t fuck with people who understand mathematics.

well whenever you want to start up again, if you prep a chicken you can trick the sex into happening and once it’s over you can send your lover out the door with a fully roasted, intact chicken, everybody wins

Elayne Boosler, circa 1989:

“My gynecologist sent me a post card in the mail. ‘Do you know it’s time for your annual pap smear?’ No, but now my MAILMAN does!!”

Related: eons ago when I was in the service, and we were required to have various annual medical and dental appointments, and for some inexplicable reason they…

I really hope she beefs with Beyoncé at some point so Twitter is nothing but venomous bees and snakes. Like Australia.

Watching the response has been SO interesting to me tbh, because where I interpreted it as very tongue-in-cheek, and goofy on purpose, there are a lot of people on twitter wringing their hands over the State of Music Today. Like, guys, Taylor is a smart lady and has very smart people working with her. She’s fucking…

Now that’s a blow to any ego. Having a song written about you is one of the highest flattery one can pay someone, but inspiring that one in particular...not so much.

No he does not.

My guess is that they are already in an open relationship and have been for some time, he is just now letting her know.

Say yes and invite a slew of sexy men to their home and suggest her boyfriend go out and get himself a coffee. She could even tell him to take a $5 from her purse.

Opposite note for MVP. Your dude will be deeply sorry when he finds out you could have a revolving door of lovers at your beck and call. I swear every other story I hear of a guy wanting an open relationship ends in him finding out that you will have a LOT easier time finding lovers then he ever will. And once the…

Dear MVP,

Has MVP’s boyfriend met a specific person he wants to sleep with hence he’s come up with this? I would probably think so...

Plus the backstory they gave in SS was shit too so they’re probably going to ignore it.

I would love to see a Spider Woman movie.

Two and a half hours of this shit

Upon reading it, I mistakenly assumed it had something to do with menstrual cycles and prime fertility times for baby making.

First. This is the whitest story ever written.

Oh yeah I remember that movie about a stay at home dad blogger wanting to find his missing NYC pen pal. It was a classic.

First I thought: “These asshole racist moms have nothing better to do than to fight on the internet.”

I just read this lengthy ass blog post about a lawsuit stemming from a private Facebook mom group.