“So… you’re still abortion-minded, even if you happen to be tubally pregnant?” she asked.

I do know something about art and I am a performance artist and this is just ridiculous and offensive. No one should have to perform naked in a college course at any age or level. The dude is clearly a pervert who is totally getting off on this. This is absolutely unnecessary. I also happen to have taught a little,…

And people say that “twitter activism” does not work, yet straight away they ended up removing it and apologizing.

Reminds me of one of my favorite scary stories as a kid. It was about a girl who wore a ribbon around her neck all the time. She lived next door to a boy who was her friend and he kept asking her why she wore that ribbon. She would tell him she couldn’t say. As they got older, they fall in love and got married. They…

The muted colours and her expression makes it look more human traffic-y. Your idea atleast makes it seem more lighthearted and with the girl atleast looking happy.

I still say Spaced is the best thing Simon Pegg has ever done. That show is criminally under appreciated.

It’s a miniature desert, sir. Keep an eye out for our herd of tiny camels.

The choice of girly-font and hearts just makes this even better.

Not an allergy request but a ridiculous coffee request. At one cafe where I used to work, we kept the milk and cream behind the counter and would pour it in for the customer ourselves unless they asked to do it. One woman asked for me to make her coffee “about your color.” Because I’m neither coffee nor milk, I have…

I was with you until you called her a thot. Not cool.

I always assumed a poached egg was some sort of lion egg that hunters acquired using unscrupulous means.

When I worked at Starbucks, people would tell me they were allergic to foam when ordering their no foam lattes.

For the peppercorn lady, everyone knows if you grind it you are no longer allergic. It’s a rule and rules are what separates us from the animals.

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

I love when they say shit like that: “think of the children.” Like, the children do got give a fuck at all.

I CAN’T HEAR THE PLAYLIST OVER MY HEART PALPITATIONS.

The only bouquet toss I’d never do away with was the one at my brother’s first wedding. My boyfriend at the time caught the garter. When I caught the bouquet, I turned to look at him from across the room with a crazy look on my face. He took the cue, went white, and ran out of the ballroom, and I chased him out,…

Way back in the day I caught the bouquet in my Aunt’s wedding. I was like 11. I won, it was exciting! Until people started teasing and told me that whoever caught the bouquet would be the next to marry and I started crying. I didn’t want to get married yet! I didn’t even have anyone to marry! It was way too big a…

YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND LOVED.

"Well, as long as you like it, that's the main thing".