From the perspective of the storyteller, it was “a long time ago....”

Do you have any reason, other than your own biases, to believe he was exonerated for any reason other than not being guilty?

Except wealthy white women aged 21-34 who spend more than $4,000 annually at Lululemon, of whom 94% are intolerant. If they have a child with an oddly spelled name, the morbidity rate rises to 118%. Don’t ask me how, it just does.

“We”?

Other things the problem never once mentions:

Not saying this cut-in still isn’t bad, but you probably should’ve mentioned that the coverage was tape-delayed.

He’s got 5 Academy Award nominations, 2 DGA nominations, 3 WGA nominations, 2 BAFTAs, 5 of his 7 movies are above 90% on Rotten Tomatoes and his last three movies cost 86 million to make and grossed 616 million.

I’m all for sunlight being the best disinfectant, but his fears are not entirely without merit. People held Cumberbatch’s similar background against him for a minute. There is definitely a breed of SJW that would reframe every comment Affleck has ever made or ever will make based on that knowledge.

This story has been passed around for a looooong time. I applaud your sense of humor, but I don't think this happened to you IRL.

A chicken finger rosin bag!? That's a fabulous idea!

It’s also the type of move that will have him signing with the Yankees or Red Sox in seven years.

Yes. Ashley Judd can kill him now.

Wait, wouldn’t that be a poor test to make your point, since the money would mitigate the physical unattractiveness? So you’d quite possibly end up with a similar number of return messages? Depending on what you mean by “successful”.

You want her to lose her job over this? You are whats wrong with America.

The world must be a pretty great place today if this is what merits outrage this morning.

I was at a goodwill store about 15 years ago, looking through their vinyl (for some reason there was a vinyl section). As I flipped through a bunch of crappy, forgotten country LPs and and Beatles reissues, I found it: the Slim Goodbody LP. I actually didn't know such a thing existed, but when I took it out and…

For what it's worth, the only person who claimed that Schumacher's injury was caused by his action cam was some French F1 radio show host who later had to admit that it was pure speculation (after everybody took that news and ran with it). To my knowledge, nobody in the medical community made any kind of link between…

That logic is flawed; you're trying to argue that the transition between problem and solution prevents you from having less than four chains. An open chain link is still part of a chain and you could keep them linked to each other until the open links are attached to another chain.

Even though Mrs. Phlebitis is seeing someone else now, we are still living in the same house because she lost her job. We get along well enough, but it makes moving on difficult. I'm very sensitive to rejection these days. I even get sad when people don't rec my comments on Gawker sites.

Now replace "smoking to relax" with "working out to relax" or "taking a hot bath to relax" or "listening to music to relax" or "gardening to relax."