Your point is a political one, then. Unless you are learning more than one of these languages at the moment?

People like to reify their concepts immediately, without hesitation..

We named our children with two different last names. Extremely difficult in continental Europe, we barely squeaked through.

One of my favorite true-life hyphenated names is Götzen-Krieg. The first part means "false god,idol".

That was a considerate touch, that you asked, given the level of behavior in some divorces.

Hugo Schwyzer

YES!

Shades of the Handmaid's Tale

Keep the name and pass it on.

Yeah. you're as female as Rush Limbaugh.

Your position is that of my wife. If you're committed it gets worked out somehow. :-)

Formal equality has a lot to be said for it.

I know people who've done this. Works great.

just as we both reconsider our positions on most things if the other strongly disagrees

I was adopted too and I definitely care about my surname ... it's a different perspective I guess. I'm name-cynical, yet I love names.

You've put forward the clearest discussion. It echoes ones I've heard and had. What do you think of these options:

Also, your mother's reasoning is flawed. I have my dad's last name... but it is also MY last name because it has always been my last name.

My name is not my father's name any more than my brother's name is. It's my name because i made my life under it. Fullstop.

I also prefer that each person keep their own last name when they get married, but I would never make someone feel bad for making the other choice.

That is a very moving story.