I'm trying to think of what traits would define the Indiana bro, but all I could think of was "Favorite part of the Indy 500 is The Snakepit." Any help?

They might be the most perfect dinner guests.

It's times like this when I think that my agoraphobia might be a blessing.

Oh dear god, I just agreed with Piers Morgan. Something is terribly wrong.

I lost mine while Superman was playing in the background. :/

You can put away the shovel. The hole is deep enough.

I am now thoroughly convinced that you have to be a spiteful, elitist jerk with no soul to work at Jezebel.

I sometimes wear cologne now. I used to layer Intimately Beckham with vanilla fragrance oil, but now I share Bleu de Chanel with my husband.

I think Axe may be the closest thing we have to Sex Panther.

I almost said something, but then I remembered that my husband and I met when he was 23 and I was a couple of months away from turning 18.

Obvs no sexy-sex, but I just find this funny: back in college, my husband did security detail at a Jim Breuer show, and he was assigned the ever-important task of guarding his booze stash.

My husband swears that he oggled my chest after a show.

An update on the breakfast sandwich machine that I mentioned last week:

This makes me long for another kitten the way other women long for another baby.

Another winner from Tracie. :/

My vision went blurry while reading this. I think my brain was trying to protect me.

If it works, then everyone is getting one for Christmas!

Ask and you shall receive: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BTI…

Oh no! You construct the sandwich in a little thingy, and it cooks it all whole!

Oooooh, me gusta.