I believe the proper name for a group of teenage girls is a gossip.

He deserves to be punched in the face with a Kia.

So? I met my husband on Facebook. We chatted online for about eight months before meeting in person (we lived on opposite sides of the country) and then we got married about six months after we met in person for the first time. We also did not live together before we got married, and I wore a crazy (but awesome) hat…

My best friend’s mom needed a kidney and no one we knew was a match. So my friend and I gave genetic information to the Univ of Neb Med Center and they submitted it to the Paired Donation database. Turned out I matched a guy in Iowa (who needed a kidney) and my friend’s mom matched his wife (who was a willing donor).…

I want to hear about tainwreck wedding please

True story: some guest’s +1 did this at my cousin’s wedding; it was basically a wedding dress if you married (hah) a little black dress and a wedding dress. Office printer paper white and more lace than the actual bride’s dress—justified, of course, by the fact that the +1 had been married 5 months ago and considered…

Yeah. Supposedly visitors were bored with regular dinosaurs, so they had to invent more interesting dinosaurs.

“I fingered that blonde lady backstage.”

Great news. I feel like he had no choice. The Times, with their amazing effort on this series of pieces, essentially came out and said NYC is full of sweat shops masquerading as nail salons. Pretty damning stuff. Kudos to the journalists.

I WOULD SELL MY HOUSE, BUY A GODDAMN WINNEBAGO, AND FOLLOW GWAR ON TOUR EVERYWHERE THEY GO LIKE THE WORST KIND OF DESPERATE GROUPIE.

I would pay cash money to see that.

“ The new person playing the “Vulvatron character” has been announced. “

Comparing Jazz Fest to Coachella is frankly insulting to the Jazz Fest. They aren’t even in the same cultural league.

The big acts like Kravitz, Elton John, etc. draw big crowds, of course, but the whole day has fantastic tributes to jazz history and heritage. We owe every single modern musical genre to jazz.

Good fucking lord we need to party

I’ve fantasized about doing stupid things, but never actually did them, so here’s a story of why dogs are the best: My last awful breakup (I was dumped by email, of course) I was looking after my sister’s dog. I cried hysterically in bed for about 5 minutes until the 130 pound dog latched onto my shoulder and…

When I found out that my abusive ex-husband was also a cheating then-current-husband, I kicked his ass out. In August. In Georgia. In 100 degree weather. After screaming at ex with such ferocity that even The World’s Most Docile Dog was growling at me, I threw ex out and locked the door. I could hear him calling…

Apparently I’ve just been too nice, or just wanted to get the fuck away, so there are no spectacular break-up tales. Best I can do: At the tender age of 16, my high school love broke up with me in a heartless and shitty way, in front of people, right before Easter, for a mousy lame-ass trumpet playing girl. He was…

I deleted his file on Final Fantasy IV

I also forgot I saw him once at a Ruby Tuesday and grabbed a menu and pretended like I worked there, went up to his table, and began explaining each of the entrees in as much detail as I could.

I was seventeen years old and madly in love with my boyfriend, the effortlessly cool punk guy with an amazing body. He broke up with me by having his best female friend tell me. I am now both embarrassed by the things I did after and sort of proud: