No, a half-marathon is NOT “more than four times longer than” a 5K. It is more than four times AS LONG AS a 5K. In order for it to be four times longer than a 5K, it would need to be the length of one 5K plus an additional four times the length of one 5K, in other words 1x5K+4x5K, or 25K total, which it isn’t.

To me, nude dining means sticking my dick in a Hot Pocket, so this is definitely a step up.

Probably the hospital.

This is Self-reflection. It’s a skill adults have. I’m pretty cool with it.

If it wasn’t already obvious it’s 100% fake, the photo editor missed a huge detail by not changing the rear-end shadow to reflect a shorter vehicle. Good effort, though.

“How could I keep playing?” LaRoche told reporters. “They took away my youth.”

When I was a punk kid, I threw a stink bomb at a life-guard’s booth at the Jersey Shore. The stink bomb was very light, and was caught up in the wind (read, I made a bad throw) and I beaned him in the back with it.

An interesting twist on the “that guy doesn’t work here anymore” defense.

This is like a bank asking for a bailout after all their executives mishandled millions in other peoples’ money. Like that would ever happen!

My biggest fantasy is that he wins the republican nomination handily, then says such ridiculous things in the primary that hillary wins in a landslide, and then after he loses says “yeah, i just thought she should be president so I made up the most ridiculous things I could. Republicans are idiots for believing me.”

Looking ahead to the summer, Kevin, do you have any plans?

Also known as the Seventh-Inning Kvetch

Markieff Morris Doesn’t Look Back, Even After He Slips Off His Hoverboard

Goddamn psych majors.

A reduction in piracy won’t = an increase in sales. it’ll just result in less games being played by pirates.

I can't stress enough how this looks so much better than Age of Ultron.

No

Perfectly good joke ruined by parenthesis.

The prosecution will build its case on the word of one informant.