Your logic is impeccable. You’ll go far, young man.

Trump doesn’t drink.

I just spent way too long reading your comments to make sure this was sarcasm. Good work.

Hand to God, I’d take that ticket over Trump/Pence.

Yes, we do. He radically underperformed the stock market.

Serves ‘em right.

No.

wut

I’m also a blonde with big tits.

It’s legal and enforceable.

That is not ironic.

The word you’re looking for is “contract".

Have you mistaken Jezebel and/or The Slot for a news organization?

Aftermarket sunroof?

Yeah, 4:30 on Monday seems a little less than helpful.

I was too lazy to type this.

The Russian judge just gave her an 8.9.

Sports with judges are not sports, they are beauty contests.

It’s relatives of the deceased, more often than not.

That is not ironic.