Go on...

Sure, Donald.

I’m beginning to suspect that women have different life experiences than I do

I do.

Rhianna’s bored, Drake’s crying...

Dodo Bird > Passenger Pigeon

The ability to turn left.

I love this picture so much, I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

And a couple bottles of Tang.

That is not ironic.

That’s a shandy or radler.

I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Whiskey, not vodka.

You take that back! Tang was/is the best thing ever. Astronauts drank that shit! I like it hot on a cold winter’s evening.

Whoever she is, she needs to put the bong down.

It’s too bad. As tattoos go, they aren’t awful.

Thanks, Donald.

They’re going to look like hammered crap after the baby.

No.

Jesus, get off poor Drake’s balls. Dude’s in love.