i'm waiting for someone in congress to declare that school pizza is not pizza ... i mean, have you seen that stuff lately? it should be called "reconstituted extrusion slabs"

i love lindy's rules ... especially #1 ... but i would add one: FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS!

i'm with you! no chlorine-green hair ... no smelly sunscreens ... and no pesky sand cleanup (no matter how you try, that stuff gets in every nook and cranny)

i never said your dog was aggressive ... and you having control over your dog doesn't give you a damned bit of control over the dog handling skills of others ... what you can control is how much of a target your dog is

during a recent stay on a high-needs floor of a small, bursting-at-the-seams urban hospital, i was a good thirty years younger than any of the other patients ... it was alarming to see the constant attention — from bed pans to hand-feeding to a steady stream of meds —- that the other patient's required ... and it was…

yet another article that makes me feel like a lame girl! i like to cut my cupcakes in two and share them with someone i like ... kind of an edible friendship ring ... i had no idea they were supposed to be a solitary, orgasmic indulgence

perhaps you'd prefer a fig ... italian-style?

during the part of my hillybilly upbringing when i lived in the everglades, i used to go to school in pubes-skimming cutoffs and a bathing suit top ... it didn't keep me from making straight a's and ending up with an ivy league scholarship

my mom dropped the ball ... never let rip with so much as a "shoot!" ... my older sister stepped up, though ... my ears are still blistering from the shit she said to me when i was four

the problem with ya fiction is that it confirms what kids suspected all along: that the "work hard and you will be rewarded", "rules are inviolable", and "nice girls don't" platitudes their parents have been feeding them are just "do as i say, not as i do" propaganda ... no wonder they end up all "fuck this" and "fuck…

i wasn't seriously suggesting that leaked radiation would cause the rocks to catch fire, but rather suggesting that flaming rocks might be preferable to radioactive rocks ... no one had yet mentioned the nuke plant, that other "terrifying" presence at san onofre, and having walked that beach myself and tent-camped on…

best case scenario, these rocks are "military material" ... worst case, they come from the notorious san onofre nuke plant, which is currently in shut down because of mystery radiation leaks

go ahead, manly men, eat that dead flesh ... but, just so you know, a vegetarian diet makes living flesh taste better, if you are interested in post-prandial consumption

may the odds be ever in your favor

oh dear! how will we stop white, male milquetoasts from fleeing the country to escape our white female fierceness? who will run our legislatures? our boardrooms? our academic institutions?!

like most catholic schools, franciscan does teach evolution, and the catholic church is a-okay with it, so long as it's understood that human beings are god's unique creation and that the process is planned and controlled by the head honcho

pretty much what you'd study at any university ... only in an environment controlled by a bunch of do-as-i-say-not-as-i-do men in dresses

the franciscans refuse to "violate the consistent teachings of the catholic church on the sacredness of human life", unless that life belongs to a yummy 8-year-old boy

or maybe furgee is just showing the humans how lame their new, fur-free puppy is

precisely ... like the bigot-enabled florida legislature requiring welfare-recipients to be drug-tested, holding the poor, the majority of whom are people of color, to a higher standard than tax-payer-funded predominantly-white legislators, tax-subsidized predominantly-white corporations, and inescapable,…