lol wut

The very idea that those protesting Roseanne are like Dan Quayle going after Murphy Brown is laughable on its face. It’s ridiculous. Like the article itself, your take is bad and ignores that Trump voters aren’t making any effort to meet anyone else halfway. Why are they deserving to receive that courtesy when they do…

To me (Also a black guy) it reads like the lazy sentiment “if we quit yelling at each other we’d realize we’re all alike.” It’s the easy answer that doesn’t engage with the deeper issues while letting white people feel good. It’s like when someone says “I don’t see color”, which is some nonsensical bullshit that…

I’ll allow it, but watch yourself, counselor.

SHE CAN’T EVEN TELL IF IT’S RAINING WITHOUT ASKING HER PHONE APP

You lost me at number 9.

I hope Snapchat dies.

I mean, do any of us really know what a school is? It’s just one of those, y’know, unexplained miracles of nature, like magnets or semi-sentient orange rinds appointing cabinet members based on how much money they have. 

In fairness, almost anyone would be a better Secretary of Education than Devos. I could throw a dart in a crowd, and after the tetanus shot that person would make a better Secretary of Education. Hell, I’m currently more qualified than her, because I have a Master’s Degree in Education, and my first act as Secretary…

I can appreciate his grievance, but he still won and that must surely compensate for the screw-up.

Fuck ‘em. They still gave their speeches.

Including the third guy who knew that they lost but still felt like he needed to say his piece.

“Why did someone make this?” he asked, before looking directly into the camera and smiling knowingly.

Just to be clear: you not only live in constant, irrational fear, but you aspire to and espouse it — as sort of a proud parody of PTSD? (Oh, I like that.)

Whats it like to live in such fear all the time?

Yes. I’m afraid of fire. Why wouldn’t I be?  It’s a scary thing.

Uh, yeah dude. I am afraid of fire. That’s exactly why I have an extinguisher, to help prevent myself from being killed by it. Are you NOT afraid of fire? Are you dumb? 

Mayor Quimby, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there’s too much blood on the knob...

You are statistically more likely to die by gunshot than anyone who does not own a gun. CONGRATULATIONS!

“Remember, when seconds count, the cops are only minutes away.”

In most crimes only minutes count. This argument’s been debunked six ways from sunday, yet you 13-year-old nerds insist on repeating it.

I had a friend whose house was burgled by crack fiends. You know what saved his life? Ducking under the bed, and…

The movie you live in sounds terrible.