Not possible to read this in anything other than David Attenborough voice.

Within the species Fontender Loaderus, the destruction of the prey’s clearcoat shell is ritualistic among most tribes. The display of strength is often thought to be as much an affirmation of the machine’s devotion to their tribe as it is a way of attracting mates from the sub-genus, Backhoen.

Why didn’t they just flip it and then feast on the soft underbelly?

Translation: Stay the fuck out of Virginia.

My mother drove (for the first time in her life) my GT-R from Miami to Washington, DC, and was pulled over in Emporia, VA (a known speed trap) for 81 mph, and given a reckless driving ticket. When she got home, fifteen different law firms sent her mail asking to represent her. It's all a fucked up scam, and she got…

Solution: avoid Virginia at all costs.