A 4 percent return.

Personally, I'd run a half marathon to get away from babies, but that's just how I roll.

Pam is my spirit guide in all things.

I sat in my comfy chair, watched TV, ate pizzas, and waited for arteries to harden.

For an hour? Anybody can hack that. Try a year. Unless living in NYC, then make it a month.

A much better question is why do you care?

No. But it was an excellent response to all the comments left by Europeans on previous Gawker and Jezebel articles about this story.

Where's the "Citizen Kane" clapping gif when I need it?

The police suspicion, while annoying and frightening, isn't the problem here.

Note what he said in the story and what the cops said when dragging him to the station.

"Beat it, uggo! Four hundred dollars is for closers!"

Well, by his logic, he doesn't deserve $400 because he's so fucked up in the face.

Cross your legs, ladies! Find a good man! Enjoy your fertility!

Okay. Whatever works, I guess. But explain to me why we're celebrating this here? Or even believing that it was this "movement" that did the trick? And not the women of the area haranguing and complaining, rightly, that their men were'nt taking care of business and thus shaming them into action?

Uh huh, yeah.

But wait! She can't be racist! She's Australian! Stop imposing your Americancentric ideas of race on her!

They are sick making.

He probably saw her reflection in the Teleprompter mirrors. There would be one on either side in front of the podium, right out of camera range.

Tea Party and conservatives will just claim he was trying to cop a feel.

Good choice.