The Tesla equivalent of “What Color is Your Parachute?”, the self-help book from the 1970s...

So Mitt Romney of Detroit, Michigan, Boston, Massachusetts and La Jolla, California wants to represent Utah? Hmm. I’m sure he has the very chicest and manly carpetbag already packed.

But...her emails

Same here. I wasn’t sure if he was the SpaceX guy or another guy, and I knew she was an actress but I don’t know any of her films. I am home sick with food poisoning today, so I will count this as my grief process. The trash can by my bed is the receptacle for dashed hopes about Elomber.

Maybe they didn’t get ENOUGH attention paid to the fact that they want privacy regarding this “very human time?”

More apology available upon request.

Probably something with blood coming out of it’s whatever

You’ll notice the red (dress), white (skin), and blue (background) that signifies the French flag. France the country that gave us the baguette. Baguettes that get stale after a few hours. Hours, not theirs. They’re trying to steal our country.

Oh, that movie was accidental comedy gold. The problem is Angie wasn’t in on the joke. Hell, neither was Brad. They’re both super pretty and suuuuuper earnest but not that bright, which is why Angie should stick to acting and leave the writing and directing to smarter people.

I loved By the Sea, it was so overwrought it was hilarious. And the voyerism was next level loony, totally made the movie. Loved it.

I don’t get this - also related - the computer your company bought for you to work on is not yours. Tread carefully

To all the commenters over on giz: see this is why you can’t be writing shit like this at work. Whether you agree with what he said or not, it’s a liability for the company.

She was going to hire all sorts of insiders based on her Wall Street ties, too.

Remember when we couldn’t elect Hillary because she was a hawk who would start wars?

“Look at FLOTUS for instance!”

I think they genuinely love and enjoy each other. She’s certainly the more serious of the two, but I think they balance each other well. Her occasional exasperation with him always seems like amused exasperation, not resentful exasperation. That’s my hot take anyway.

She’s trapped in a shiplap prison of her own making.

I was about to be like, “How dare you talk about Michelle & Barack that way?!?!?!” and then I realized you meant....Melania. #MichelleisFLOTUSofmyheart4eva

“And then she has someone make a table.” - This just made me giggle hysterically. I think one prevailing theory is that Joanna may be in love with the guy who makes said tables.