You do not sound like someone who has ever been inside a gym.

Right here, just outside the car! (tires screech as car peels out, and away)

This should be good: tell me what person I am, exactly, and what I’ve done to keep Rick Ross around.

Meh, I liked it. The beat is great.

Where’s my gluten-free, vegan, fair trade option, Torch?

So why should I stick to just two? You don’t really say why just that I should only have two while being socially awkward about it. If I need to drive or be somewhere early the next day then yes stick to one or two but if I have a ride/taxi/uber and everyone else is drinking and enjoying themselves why would I stick…

Professional wisdom suggests that if this is advice you are considering, you should actually be having zero drinks at parties, and also everywhere else.

This is good advice. But it is hard to follow. Especially since I love drinks 3 and 4 most of all.

Nobody’s forcing you to buy one....

How dare they stay in business. How dare people buy what they want.

Seven minutes is all I need....

Make some profits, then brag.

At-least the auto makers he’s calling out can make a profit.

When [Modest Mouse lead singer Isaac] Brock left the scene he backed into a cop car, but he just drove off. Sometimes life is okay.

Ah yes, all those all those midengine exotic buying 20 somethings. Such a massive market cannot be ignored.

Same thing happened to me. Now when a girl gives me a dirty look for not opening a door, I say, “What? You’re arms aren’t broke. Gender equality bitch.”

I R8 THAT R8 PASS 0/8 M8

*comes back to life*

How much money do you think Ronnie Reagan sent to the Ayatollah back in 1980 to pay for holding the hostages then and releasing them just in time for the inauguration. They got what they were promised by Reagan in August of that year when he sold out the hostages for the Iranians to embarrass Carter so that Reagan…

*cough cough* saudi arabia *cough cough* egypt *cough cough cough*