In the last mile of a very hilly and challenging 1/2 marathon, I saw a guy with a sign that said something like “This is the top of the last hill! All you have to do is go down!” and I swear I almost burst into tears and wanted to hug the guy which is super out of character for me.

For real my life goal is to visit McConnell’s grave and spit on it.  I don’t feel that way about any other human, even Trump.

I genuinely love some nit picky pedantry and this is grade A shit.  Kudos.

Look, I spent a long time in higher education just barely learning things and then talking in front of people like I really knew that thing I just learned about. There’s a sort of pattern and cadence to this.

I don’t think Trump has a racist bone in his body but I also think he’s just chock-a-block filled with racist fatty tissue.

JESUS TAKE THE NEEDLE!

Man, in an alternate universe where Mitch McConnell had the capacity to feel shame I bet he’s really stung by this.

Its like someone said “hey lets make Froot Loops but lets take all the fun out of it and make them fake apple flavored instead” which is *insane*. 

I’ve turned it off because even when it is right or close to right, it changes my flow of thought. Rather than just thinking out the sentences I’m typing, I’m thinking:

The whole climbing Everest thing as a line on a social climbing resume is fucking lame and if you ever meet someone who brags about having done it you should tell them to fuck off.  What a bunch of assholes.

A robbery makes sense- a kidnapping makes sense.  What would the benefit be of an assassination?  How would the accused benefit by killing Ortiz?  Business stuff down there?  Or is he involved in some shady shit?  Or a personal vendetta?

I mean fine in this case but this happens to multiple kickers every year, even in the middle of the season.  A team underperforms, can’t score points, puts it to the kicker to win, they donk one and they FIRE THE KICKER AND RALLY AROUND THE CLUBHOUSE!  I don’t know, its nuts.  And even in this case, they don’t seem to…

Is it possible that firing a kicker because of a single miss (albeit an important one) is not a good strategy?  I know coaches will say we pay these guys to make the kicks but possibly, just possibly, you don’t improve  your team doing this?  

Chris Blewitt really . . . no. I’m not doing it. I have my fucking pride.

in addition to all the other reasons others have supplied - if I’m a mid level player on the US team I’m for sure as fuck gunning for a goal to be sure I get at least one in the tournament. If I’m a upper tier player I’m gunning for that most goals award because thats possibly a lot of big advertising dollars it can…

Yea Disney keeps stuff like that out.  But the smaller parks/6flags type parks of the world are always nuts.

Tucker’s really onto it here.  If  get a resume for a job opening and that person didn’t even make it to the regional rounds of the spelling bee?  Get FUCKED.  There’s no single metric for career success and life opportunity than spelling bee placement.  

I honestly couldn’t figure out what people liked about his impression so much - I hated it.  I just didn’t find it funny and not because I’m a small fingered vulgarian with paper thin orange skin.  Trump sucks but so did Baldwin’s impression.

You can’t go to an amusement park without seeing lots of really fucking questionable T shirts.  Like, man, its 6 Flags, there’s tons of kids here.  Did you really need to wear the Bin Laden shot through the head with “burn in hell” on it?  Or the No Fat Chicks shirt?

“She just bothers me! I like Biden, I feel like I can sit and have a beer with him!!”