So I guess people are just picking words at random and mashing them together to name their kids now. I'm gonna name mine Butterchurn Library. Or maybe Lightbulb Fencepost.

Well, that sounds fabulous and now I want this thing.

Well, that sounds fabulous and now I want this thing.

This might be a dumb question, but how does one use a masque overnight without it getting all over your pillow?

This might be a dumb question, but how does one use a masque overnight without it getting all over your pillow?

I owe my soul to the company espresso machine.

Seriously. I moved to California 7 years ago and I will probably never leave, despite what housing costs here, because it's a great place to live for so many other reasons.

More likely, she'll keep dating people until their initials spell out the name of her next album, after the release of which she will sue all of those same people for copyright infringement.

What's so great about it that a smaller, cordless vibrator wouldn't provide?

What's so great about it that a smaller, cordless vibrator wouldn't provide?

I don’t think I understand the popularity of this particular vibrator. It’s gigantic and has to be plugged in while in use. Did I get transported back to 1935 without realizing?

I don’t think I understand the popularity of this particular vibrator. It’s gigantic and has to be plugged in while…

How old are you that 47 is “old”?

Man, I hope I never work for you.

A great songwriter indeed! Lyrics as profound as the wine-dark sea: “We are never ever ever getting baaack togetherrrr”; “Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate” etc. A musical god among us.

Because intimate partner abuse can totally be fixed with rehab. Hey, as long as his life isn't ruined over some pesky abuse charges, right?

Why do you care so much about what I think of your reading choices? Like, we will never know each other in real life, dude. It really doesn't matter.

Can you maybe calm down? You like comic books and apparently have a thing for Nicolas Cage, I get it. How does my personal opinion of grown adults who are obsessed with comics affect your life in any way whatsoever?

Dude, you are really invested in this. Do you get this worked up every time someone makes fun of a celebrity?

1) If he really wants to emphasize his connection to the Coppolas, then why pick a stage name at all, and 2) picking a name because it’s a superhero’s name is something a 5 year old does, not a grown-ass man.

Let us lunch on batteries… I mean human food.

SO FUCKING WEIRD

Ugh, how dare you show that much FACE and HAND skin! My child watches your program you know, and I don't want her exposed to your slutty naked hands!

I’ve never understood why women with large breasts are seen as “slutty”. Like, none of us can control the size of our boobs so how do they in any way reflect our sexual behavior?