Also a woman living in Chicago here. I live in a neighborhood where I hear gunfire at least once a month (far less than some other neighborhoods, but still more than I’d like) and read reports of people getting mugged or their homes broken into several times a week on my own street. I have never felt the need for…

I once played a strategic game of mailed coupons, in store discounts, the Cartwheel app, and Red Card benefits to get 53% off my entire purchase at Target once. I consider this to be one of my life’s greatest achievements.

I tried to sneak a juice box of wine into a movie theater recently but had to go back and put it in my car because they had a cop checking people’s bags on the way in. I wasn’t even mad. Thanks, Officer Bag Checker, for making sure I didn’t die while watching Captain America.

I actually know who she is! This is disproportionately exciting for me. Kinda creeped out when I found out who her ex-husband was... I mean, they played siblings!!

Burn it down.

She and her husband were professional body builders. I think she was required by the local mega-gym to provide a meal plan to her trainees, but I highly doubt she had any training to do so. I mean, I looked great when I was able to follow it for those 3-4 weeks, but that shit was not sustainable.

I usually did.

Ugh, I had a trainer put me on a diet that I later learned was the diet that body builders stick to for the two weeks before a competition. She wanted me on it indefinitely. It was horrible and I stopped seeing her.

When I started reading Tweet Beat, I didn’t get and couldn’t stand Yoko and just scrolled past her. Now, I feel as though I can’t live without her. Yoko forever.

So I finished my last pill pack yesterday and I’m not starting a new one and now we’re officially “trying” and I am FREAKED OUT about this shit. Gah....... had to share somewhere lovely.

and again when she persuades the “blactivist” Ruby to leave school and join Ever After.

So the Home Depot guy is a Trump supporter, the Lowes guy is an islamophobe, and the Menards family are all around assholes. Anyone know anything about the people that own Ace? Is Ace still safe to shop for home improvement stuff from or am I SOL?

I can attest to the inverse of this! My company requires me to put 50 hours on my timesheet every week (I’m a salaried consultant, that’s how they get away with it). I find myself spending so much more time here on Jez trying to fill those hours than I did at my limited 40-hour per week old company.

A friend got married a few years back and the pastor they wanted to perform the ceremony fell very ill a few months before and had to drop out. As a backup, they asked the groom’s uncle who is an uber conservative preacher in Missouri. He knew they were living together and insisted one of them move into a separate…

I know they’re expensive, but I wish we could just do away with Mammograms and just have everyone do breast MRIs like us lovely BRCA mutation positive ladies have to do once a year. Just had mine last week and it was pretty much a painless nap on my stomach. Not looking forward to the boob vice device.

Correction: Indiana University. The University of Indiana never has, and never will, exist.

We seem to be facing a similar dilemma with Hillary as we did/are with Obama. If we’re being totally honest, much of the push back towards Obama and his policies are due to race - the constituents don’t like a Black man running the country and it is the job of their elected officials to sugar coat that and pretend…

WHAT. THE. FUCK. Girl needs to wait until darling boyfriend has crippling diarrhea then sprinkle the toilet paper with chili oil. That might come CLOSE to her agony.

My parents gave me a very unique spelling of a name that got super popular about a three years after I was born (I do not have the strength to care about what gets written on my Starbucks cups). When I lived in my small dorm of 200 (at a university of 40,000), I was shocked to meet another girl who spelled her name…

You can also use this as a treatment on your regular clothes. I sprayed it on all the clothes I wore during my 4-month study abroad trip to Costa Rica and I had significantly fewer bug bites for the stuff’s 2 to 3-month life span than my classmates. And I’m a mosquito magnet.