Mock all you want, but Mother Pence’s towel charms saved my marriage! My husband and I own exactly two towels and he just can’t keep track of which hook is His and which is Hers, bless his heart! Each and every day I had to wash our two towels - but at least it gave me the daily opportunity to sit atop the dryer while…

And why would an owner whine publicly on the receipt before the guest has a chance to tip his own employee better? Just shut the fuck up and be grateful no one notices happy hour prices going up 15 cents across the board to cover that rising tide, lifting all them boats. Stupid jerk.

Does he also add “surcharges” whenever the price of fish changes? Labor isn’t some unfair expense, it’s an expected cost of doing business.

I’d like to see him have to tend it. Six towers, each 54 feet high - get the kid a box of rags, a ladder and some windex. He can get a close look at the 6 million tiny little numbers, each of which was an actual person who was murdered. Once a month for a year or two is a good start.

Fellow Jezzies, I need your help. Am enduring round three of family court with an abusive ex, who has jeopardized our children’s lives over and over. Each time I get us back up on our feet, it bankrupts me again. I cannot adequately convey the devastating effect this has had on my children and me, financially and…

Things my dad taught me:

Girls, particularly clever girls, learn to mask and mimic early on. In fact I think there was a study done to show that the higher the IQ of a girl the less likely she was to be diagnosed with ASD because they were able to hide it so well.

Fortunately for her, he has to sell his business to keep his job.

I mean this makes perfect sense to me. The child is no longer unborn, so he no longer cares

He looks like he was turned down for a bit role in Godfather Part III and turned to selling used Pintos instead.

There’s something painfully embarrassing about a septuagenarian so desperate for validation that he will brag about letters from 9 year olds. I mean, it’s posted on twitter, his press secretary is reading it aloud in public like it’s newsworthy, everyone’s jumping up and down because SEE! PEOPLE DO LIKE TRUMP!!!! WE…

Paul Ryan’s too stupid to get the irony that he quoted a Canadian singer-songwriter who, by virtue of his citizenship, has universal health care.

No, it’s not. I have an 8 year old and he writes much better than Pickle. That was the first thing I noticed, but decided not to say anything.

I’m a teacher. That’s a well argued paper from a 2nd grader. Seriously, I often get “X is bad because it’s bad” as an argument from much older kids. Counterpoint: Pickle could be president, because qualifications don’t matter (apparently). All he has to do is marry rich enough.

Hot take: Pickle will not be president.

Y’Know, If you want to believe the mother (and that is your call), then I applaud her for not pushing her son and allowing him to develop his own heroes and likes (Much as I think I’d go crazy with a nine year old Trump supporter running around).

Pickle, Trump is very sensitive about the size of the white hose. Best not ask about it.

It makes me sick how we’re all supposed to mindlessly buy into Daughter Dingus’ pathetic phony creation myth, like she’s anything more than a spoiled little airhead who owes everything she has to the money her awesome daddy swiped from other people. Look at her, sitting there with that moronic pucker on her plastic…

I didn’t read the comments on any previous articles for that reason. They hate these black women being successful and happy.