When I was nine this six year old girl lived across the street. She had a “college fund,” which was several hundred dollars stuffed into a big jar in her bedroom. I saw it whenever I ended up over there, and one day I decided to steal eighty bucks out of it.

Forget about the politics for a second, extrapolating from the Miss Universe pageants, it’s safe to assume these women are opening themselves up to sexual harassment by performing for Trump. It’s very reasonable for them to want to skip this performance

We are an American brand, and I think it’s very appropriate that the Rockettes dance in the inaugural and 4th of July and our country’s great historical moments.

Performing for Trump’s inauguration is absolutely seen as an endorsement of Trump and the way he talks about and treats women. Trump himself will say as much when they show up and perform. Remember, they are being coerced into performing for a narcissist who thinks everything is about him.

This reminds me of my earliest parental deception - although it may be a non-sequiter, here goes anyway.

This one should probably be the story about how you avoided getting molested by your mailman.

My all time favorite prank in middle school was something by best friend and I had dubbed “shitboxering.” It was truly fucked up and evil but so, so fun. Until we got caught.

My wife did something similar, realized mid-signature, crossed it out and signed her brother’s name

There was a phase when we were really big into calling 911 from payphones then hanging up, then hiding nearby to see if the cops would come. This got problematic when we kept it going away at summer camp, where the one payphone must’ve been 30 minutes from any police station, and they would send a car out each and…

I graffiti’d my own carport. I denied doing it. The problem? The graffiti was my name.

I feel like this has just been a really really long dare for one of us to figure out how to make feminism a religion

Crackernazis can’t go a day without jerking it over a Handmaid’s Tale fantasy.

I know, and I dread Jan 20. Even as a European – mine is a small country in the Baltics next to Russia, and seeing how Trumpsky get chumsky with Putin, we’re 110% sure we’ll be thrown under the bus. But what can you do? Live on and fight. Eat cakes and have sex and fight. Drink booze and fight. Make new babies (or…

It’s kinda gross, isn’t it. Fortunately, I have a many strong women in my circle of family and friends. Unfortunately, their experiences have been much the same as hers. I wish I knew what to do. Unlike me, she wants to have friends (my best friend was Toni Morrison in my head, so we spent a lot of time together).…

I was expelled from school in Kindergarten for knocking a boys front teeth out. When my Dad came to pick me up from school, he asked me what happened and I said ‘he kept lifting up my skirt and trying to touch me so I punched him’. Apparently, the principle tried to defend the boy and paint me as unstable and…

I shout “WHOSE BODY?” and she shouts “MY BODY”

She has a big, curly red hair (Mr. SideEye is Irish) and it really is amazing. But for some reason, people feel like it’s okay for them to touch it without permission. (They also try this with my Afro, so I’ve taken to slapping hands.) We’ve taught her from an early age that no one touches her without permission,…

Think of all the 5 year olds, deprived of their chance to pull a coal cart for a farthing a day! The elderly and decrepit and mentally ill, all kept from their rightful position in a sweatship, behind chained doors, making shoes for pennies a week! An unemployed America is a morally bankrupt America, which is how you…

Australia are 465 for 6 at Stumps on Day 4.

We have the worst economy in decades with over 90 million Americans fallen out of unemployment statistics they’ve been out of work so long.