oh god I was on vacation with my parents, and we had separate rooms because we were all adults. we got back from whatever afternoon activity it was, went to shower/rest for a bit and then we would reconvene and figure out dinner. I go into my parents’ room to discuss dinner and there is just an ENORMOUS bottle of…

VOMIT OH MY GOD

Maybe one day...

I feel like I’m not the only one who wants more dirt...

Ironically, these are the mildest, tamest, least incriminating stories that I could tell about her. Next level craziness, on a global scale with media coverage.

Shelly Long? Now that’s weird.

I was riding my big wheel through a hotel my dad was looking after during off season(so he could write a book) and i came up to a room, where i shit you not, some guy in a dog suit was giving head to another guy. they both became aware of my presence and i fled. this was the 80s, before furries, mind you.

There are two kinds of people in the world...

Oh my god!

Back in the Blockbuster days, my mom picked some random movie we’d never heard of and then I sat down to watch it with Mom, Dad, big sis, and big sissy’s bff. The movie was Quills, about the Marquis de Sade.
...
We told mom she wasn’t allowed to pick the movies anymore.

One time I got this series of texts from my dad:

“Porn stash”

I don’t even know how to process this information.

I think you mean porn stash. Although it would be equally disturbing if your brother had a porn stache:

I couldn’t figure out why a mustache was so upsetting... you mean porn stash! :)

When I was about 10 I had a friend whose house I stayed at at least once a month. Her parents were wealthy and the house was set up so that the kids had a whole floor to themselves complete with a second kitchen and family room, so once we went downstairs to play we pretty much didn’t come back to the main level…

Back in my escorting days I went to use the bathroom after a...session(?) & after I washed my face I opened his linen closet in search of a towel of some sort. I found a towel, but I also found a very elaborate shrine to Shelley Long. So. Yeah.

My bro’s porn stache when we were younger and lived at home. It disturbed me so much I ran to discuss with my then middle-school friends about it (yes I was sheltered and had the social dumbz tyvm for asking).

My parents having sex on the floor of the living room when I was a kid. They don’t know I saw them. It was late at night about 30 years ago, I was supposed to be asleep, and I can still picture it like it was yesterday. I remember thinking “you will never unsee this.” And I was right.

Thank you so much for this post, honestly. I have had the most awful day where I want to simultaneously sob and punch people in the face. I don’t have a good story, but I can’t wait to read everyone else’s.