See, I’ve always wanted to sign up just because its fun to look at pictures of people and whatnot, but I’m married and boundaries and the like.

If you can’t afford to tip appropriately, you can’t afford to eat out.

Well, that escalated quickly.

That should be Minority Report’s pre-crime, not Mission Impossible’ s.

HOW ABOUT “YES, BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY MY TYPE?” WHY ARE YOU SEX-SHAMING ME, BOBBY?

Fucking brava, Anna.

I think she’s just talking back to the constant criticism she is fed about her looks. Also, this is season 3. Whether it’s weight or skin color or gender or sexual preference or the list goes on, I feel like this is often a criticism of minorities that are comedians - Stop talking about this issues that are a problem…

I’m also worried that I will end up having my Kardblock on when Kris Jenner runs a coup & takes over The White House, and she will find me out & execute me.

Clear eyes, full hearts, don’t rape!

So you just carry that around wherever you go? In case a dildo-based argument breaks out?

Seriously he is my favorite.

*swoons* I would make such a fool of myself on a daily basis if I had to work out while suavely pretending The Amy wasn’t right there in front of me!

Amy Schumer goes to my gym. I have a strict no bothering celebrities life rule esp. at places like the gym but man do I want to tell her she is the baddest every time I see her.

I love that Amy’s star is on the rise. She is a force to be reckoned with.

That’s why football only has 11 players on a team; 12 players is the tipping point.

“Reasonable Chub” is permanently added to my lexicon. “Exploratory Tug” as well. Gold.

KUMAIL THO