Agreed. Why too much work for me to maintain that haircut. Though I did rock in briefly in 8th grade. I have a yearbook picture to prove it. I can’t figure out how I got it to look so good that day.

tru confessions: the “I Wanna Grow Old With You” song still makes me tear up

As a fan of the classics I much prefer the original douchebag manual:

They’re like normal Hallmark cards, but have an iStockPhoto on the cover and shitty poetry inside like:

I would love to recieve a Chinese bootleg Hallmark card.

I challenge anyone to name a sitcom funnier than Broad City. Anyone who names a show that uses a laugh track like it’s still the 90’s *coughbigbangtheorycough* can get the fuck out.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT TAKE. CLEARLY NO ONE ANY GOOD HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW FOR FIFTEEN YEARS! JOE PISCOPO 4 EVA!!!!

You can call 911 and make sure she receives the ambulance bill later. You are welcome.

Due to the nature of our customers, both allergy and snowflake,

I take your meaning but technically white chocolate isn’t chocolate; it’s merely chocolate-adjacent.

Oh, Natasha, we get it. You’re still closer to Teen than Exhausted Parent. But trust me this article will come back to haunt you in some way.

whaaaaaat a cunty lady re: that cunty lady.

Oh God, nuke-you-lur. I just...I couldn’t be in the same room as your husband. I would break something.

MY HUSBAND SAYS CHIPOL-TAY. i used to try and be nice and not correct him, just pronounce it properly, but finally i started correcting him. the first few times he would say “That’s what I said!” even though it WASN’T what he said. now he knows, he just can’t stop himself, the poor dear. Like how he says…

You need to get all the stars.

It’s incredibly pathetic. I mean setting aside that Chinese =/= Vietnamese...many Vietnamese people fought WITH the US.

I think it’s an American thing to assume all of Asia is one giant homogenized mass. I have a friend who is Chinese: he has told me about how people have told him...

Shouldn’t this also be written in French?