"Pussy farts, the Musical!"

PREACH

I try to keep you on your toes

that's what my husband says

I don't like social media pregnancy announcements as a general rule, but his reaction is pretty cute.

What is hangover bread and why don't I know about it?!

I'm just... not seeing it.

That photo of Mindy and Chris is my everything.

And those Bills had to go from playing in Miami to... THAT.

Does this mean I can just glue sparkles on my face instead of tweezing? I'm for it.

I know, right? They should look the same way they do in company class. As homeless as possible. At least that's how I always was in class, lol

Sounds great. If they want to use the title "Lifestyle and Fitness" then they should to drop the "swimsuit" title, and vice versa. Because like I said before, you can have a stereotypical "pageant body" but not be physically fit. So if they want to say Lifestyle (not sure what that means anyway) and Fitness they need…

this is always the happiest part of my Monday

Exactly! Granted, the only big issue would be those whose talent is also their fitness ability, like dancers, gymnasts, yogis, or contortionists (okay I haven't actually seen those last two in the talent portion, YET! But damn it all to hell I want to see a yoga champion demo onstage there). My solution would be to…

So many tears!

I've always wondered why the "Lifestyle and Fitness" portion didn't give participants the option to showcase their athleticism. Because looking skinny in a bathing suit does not mean you're physically fit. I would LOVE to see prerecorded clips of each girl doing her said activity where the makeup is off and they're…

You know you will be sorely disappointed if someone doesn't fall from a balcony and break their ankle.

I volunteer to live blog the shit out of this for Jezebel! PICK ME!

The only Peter Pan Live! on television that I want to see is the production described during the "Fiasco!" episode of This American Life.

I don't even like pot, but I would totally smoke with Woody. I love that man.