I was going to write a rant about the injustice of the uber-rich flying around in suits while working folks are denied decent housing, healthcare, etc., then I noticed that it was a remote-controlled plane, not a suit. Takeaways:

This evening, my dog was curled up sleeping, with her head on my lap. This was, mind you, after a long, exhausting day of her sleeping 10 + hours while we were at work all day. So, we're just sitting there, me reading, her sleeping and being snuggle-petted, when all of a sudden, a giant fucking bug lands on my leg and…

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I'm 6 again. With animal crackers and apple slices. And pig tails. And my cape.

I... it... no, I can't be smart-ass about it, I can't be snarky. I can only watch it over and over and over again. But I'll count them.

Thank you. I needed this so badly.

Step 1) Buy kale

A British accent?

Oh, Jesus, you're hilarious: "a month plus." As if a box of wine has ever lasted more than three days after it's been opened.

Good for her.

Cannot. Stop. Laughing. At. Comment.

What perfume was this for?

Very honestly, there is no amount of compensation that I would deem "worth it" to deal with the psychosexual financial fetishes of privileged white males. That shit would make me too angry. I'd make them donate their money to nonprofits that help out single urban parents and their kids. I'm pretty sure that's not part…

You gotta be f'n kidding me, right?! You realize that nearly Every. Single. Item. you mention to negate the need of a cellphone is at least as, if not much more, expensive than a cellphone? You have a laptop, a PC, and a fancy, video-taking camera, so you seriously need to STFU about 'nobody needs a smartphone'. And…

Um, excuse me, Dandelion, who the fuck is your favorite? OH I SEE HOW IT IS.

Now if only we could get Peter Gabriel to hit Terry Richardson with a sledgehammer.

Crocodile's a good idea. Or a flatbed full of gold bricks. Or a flatbed with a ninja in it. Or a flatbed with a —

Ok, in 2 fucking seconds you came up with better ideas that can be just as visually grabbing. The fact is, they don't think that what they did was wrong.

Why couldn't they have done something a little less horrifying? Like a crocodile in the bed of the truck, or make it look like an aquarium.