I assume in this scenario Tomsula is squatting in a foreclosure, the bank hasn’t shut off the utilities, and he just found an old pizza left behind in the freezer.

Fake news. Tomsula has never seen an actual oven. That’s for indoors critters.

This is like trying to decide between rooting for corn on pizza or ketchup on steak. Fuck both of them.

Wait — do you hear that??

This is what I do at parties.

This dude CANNOT catch a break (even at the polling place!)

And I am LOVING it!

+1 New Jerseyan wearing a dirty white tank top

Wait, are you talking about Paul George here? Dude is 27! I know he broke his leg, but he’s generally been even better that he was before his leg snapped in half.

+ 1 piping hot

+1 Eviction notice

Fuck him. He is an asshole.

When he wasn’t getting D’d up by Jackson (or for one possession by teeny-tiny rookie De’Aaron Fox, who is 75 pounds lighter than Melo)

farted up 23 turnovers

Can’t do fucking shocked. What I can do is fucking surprised.

REALLY, A TEAM BECOMES A WHOLE LOT WORSE AFTER TRADING FOR CARMELO ANTHONY???? COLOR ME FUCKING SHOCKED.

The NBA is an embarrassment of riches right now if you like watching skilled, multi-faceted players who aren’t particularly interested in adhering to traditional positions. Which I do, because Jesus, who wouldn’t like that?

English teacher moment: “hurtling,” not “hurdling.” Unless the plane was leaping over fixed barriers, which would use up all the little paper bags.

The Bowling Green Massacre.

Uh last I checked The NYG wouldn’t have traded for Romo either also The Colts but what do I know?. Please stop acting like Tony was Montana. Did he win a lot of games? Yes. He also lost a lot due to his self inflicted wounds.

It’s absurd to equate Deion with Bo. Bo Jackson was actually good at both sports he played professionally. Deion was an average-at-his-very-best baseball player and a very good corner who may end up the most overrated at his position of all time, due to his salesmanship. Bo was transcendent as a football player and…

Maybe God has just been around a really long time.