This dude CANNOT catch a break (even at the polling place!)

And I am LOVING it!

+1 New Jerseyan wearing a dirty white tank top

Wait, are you talking about Paul George here? Dude is 27! I know he broke his leg, but he’s generally been even better that he was before his leg snapped in half.

+ 1 piping hot

+1 Eviction notice

Fuck him. He is an asshole.

When he wasn’t getting D’d up by Jackson (or for one possession by teeny-tiny rookie De’Aaron Fox, who is 75 pounds lighter than Melo)

farted up 23 turnovers

Can’t do fucking shocked. What I can do is fucking surprised.

REALLY, A TEAM BECOMES A WHOLE LOT WORSE AFTER TRADING FOR CARMELO ANTHONY???? COLOR ME FUCKING SHOCKED.

The NBA is an embarrassment of riches right now if you like watching skilled, multi-faceted players who aren’t particularly interested in adhering to traditional positions. Which I do, because Jesus, who wouldn’t like that?

English teacher moment: “hurtling,” not “hurdling.” Unless the plane was leaping over fixed barriers, which would use up all the little paper bags.

The Bowling Green Massacre.

Uh last I checked The NYG wouldn’t have traded for Romo either also The Colts but what do I know?. Please stop acting like Tony was Montana. Did he win a lot of games? Yes. He also lost a lot due to his self inflicted wounds.

It’s absurd to equate Deion with Bo. Bo Jackson was actually good at both sports he played professionally. Deion was an average-at-his-very-best baseball player and a very good corner who may end up the most overrated at his position of all time, due to his salesmanship. Bo was transcendent as a football player and…

Deion is such a bitch for this. Talked endless shit about Romo his entire career like it was his fault the line and defense were trash for the overwhelming majority of his career and only got his Super Bowl wins because he played on all-time great teams that were great before he got there and stayed great after he…

- “The whole time I pictured myself as the Julie Andrews type, but maybe I’m more like, uh...” “The Nazis?” “Oh no. Is there another villain?” I suggest Mr. Banks’ financer boss from Mary Poppins.

She’s bad at math but great at baths.

“She’s like my grandma at a yard sale: going after our junk!”

Again, the show amazes me with its see-the-world-at-90-degrees-off dialog. Gene got in some zingers at the breakfast table. And yes, the Zeke lines were killer as they were about to face off with refugee-from-The Shining kid. You want to point to the tier 2 character who has grown the most, I give it to how the…

Maybe God has just been around a really long time.