Mom to me after latest blizzard: It was 70 here today.

Ways to reuse a penis cake pan:

My mother recently moved to be closer to her grandkids (because you know, her own kids are old fucking news) and I had a bunch of stuff stored at her house. My sister and young nieces were going through some of my boxes of kitchen stuff and stumbled on my penis cake pan. My niece called it the "bone" pan (she's really…

Not a disaster story, but a tip for any of you who might be mailing out invitations at some point: Assign each household a number and put it on the back of the RSVP card. Some people don't remember to put their own names on the card, or the names are illegible. It also gives you a simple way to sort them so you can…

24/7/365/52?

Damn, that raisin loaf tho...

I'm financially dominated. It's called my mortgage and kids. People pay for this treatment?

If you yell into it takes 3 seconds for the echo to return.

I heard if a woman has had three children, and you put your ear to her vagina, you can hear the ocean.

It would be fun when it's fun and/or light-hearted gossip. I always hated it when it was the negative stuff. It just takes a toll on you. As a consultant you may have dodged that stuff. Sounds like you have a great balance!

The receptionist of a company I used to work for once beckoned me over to her desk and, in a low steady voice said "I know when people poop. I know when you poop. You haven't pooped today."

I can't think of any place in Boston that's a 45 minute walk from "coffee and a scone", i.e. Starbucks.

Did you see the guy selling coolers full of snow to people in California for like, 50 dollars a pound?

I mean, she should at least milk the cow, right?

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, amiright?!?!?

Hope and boners spring eternal.

"He shoveled her snow...and straight into her heart"

I'm an admin assistant and I can totally verify that. Yes, I know everything about everyone. I'm not even nosy or gossipy! People just tell me everything, or talk about stuff when I'm right there, as if I'm not even there. I am like a lamp to them. But this lamp has alllllll the dirt.

And THIS is why working from home is so. damn. awesome.

It's possible! If anyone else has good /bad memoir recs, please let me know!