On behalf of all of the shelter dogs and all of the strays, and this poor little dog, too, I weep.

most of the logically-inclined would agree that Miller has a legitimate excuse for her tardiness

Fifth in line now...but at least there's still a chance, mate...

i will show him some love iykwim

some lives were spared as people got to work late that day as it was the first day of school and also the democratic primary for mayor had people voting.

I think what Charlie is really saying is:

Metallurgy?

He sounds unhinged and like a psycho, you have to put yourself and your husband first, it's not your responsibility to be there for him, I mean, with the rape thing, you basically can tell that he's an awful person and who knows what he might make up about you if he thinks you're not there for him or something. I…

**Obligatory I'M GREY PLEASE HELP Message** I guess this should be #friendzone but I'm going to crowdsource here instead. Also trigger warning: involves male on male sexual assault. Also, for context, I am a straight, married female.

I had my kid at 34. He's eleven now. I don't know if I think of myself as an older mom exactly, but boy do I know how it is to be thoroughly exhausted by a kid! Would it reassure you that before too long they will only want to stare at electronics, and won't ask you to go bike riding with them anymore? :( :)

I'm 42. With two children, 4 and 7. I need role models and guidance for being an older parent. I've twice been mistaken for my daughter's grandmother. I love doing stuff with my kids but I'm so tired and out of shape. I'm always joking about why is it kids want to play outside and run around, when they could be…

My new puppy's favorite rawhide is "buffalo pizzle"... which I had to Google. It's a god damn BUFFALO PENIS. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. I've been spoiling her rotten, trying to find toys and rawhides that she'll like because she stuck her nose up at a few things that have since been donated to my Mom's…

I wish there wasn't so much stigma around going to therapy. EVERYONE should have a psychologist!

Goodbye old friend. Go gently into the night (her leg..not Aviva)

But Kelly was fun crazy (except for her quite literal breakdown on Scary Island*). Aviva is just awful.

Satchels of gold, Al Sharpton. Satchels of gold.

Foot. There, fixed it for you.

aviva is a palindrome and means spring in hebrew. just go for it. pretend you never saw the show.

I'll let the guy I hung out with two weeks ago know he doesn't exist.