I get why you wrote this, but don’t you think it’s high time the Spanish speaking Mongolian community finally rises up and fights their own battles?

I don’t want to see Hamilton because I’m afraid I’ll hate it and again be labeled a serial contrarian. I don’t want a repeat of the bloody ‘07 Spamalot incident.

They are afraid he might try to take his own life using a firearm, but will miss and instead hit an innocent bystander.

I don’t know why people are so critical of his looks. I loved him on Deep Space 9.

I feel his pain. I had this awesome apple picking trip planned, but then September 11th happened and nobody felt like going. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

This same thing happened to me when a sideline reporter asked my son if he wanted to follow my career path, only he responded with, “What’s a crack whore?”

This man would fornicate with rye weevils if it meant he could chuck on ol’ Man Grumbdricks horse-drawn silage buckrake for five more minutes.

Toddlers with all their fingers are overrated.

I second that.  I’ve had pots and pans with handles I don’t like before, but these are actively painful. 

I second that.  I’ve had pots and pans with handles I don’t like before, but these are actively painful. 

This is great!  Now I’ll be able to unload all these misprinted Q-Anom t-shirts I had made.

This is my go to for American gibberish english.

to ensure that only the finest quality walnut veneer is selected

I get this. My wife asked me to go out and mow, but I had to break to her that the lawn had placed me on administrative leave.

My dad actually had to eat it as a kid. Thankfully he made my grandmother promise not to feed it to us when she watched us.

Don’t forget to make your kids eat the Vicks VapoRub when they have a cold. Smearing on the chest just doesn’t cut it.

I drove one of these when I was a kid. I made the mistake of turning off traction control and ended up crashing into a cotton candy stand.

When I was in kindergarten, some kids on the bus were talking about crazy, hilarious shit that happened in the Dukes of Hazard. Having never actually seen the show but wanting to participate, I blurted out, “Remember that one episode when police guy rolled over his car into a pool and somehow ended up hanging from the…

Nothing irks me more than these immigrants who come over here and then refuse to learn english.

Does it come with the Vise-Grip? If so, then NP. Those things can run upward of ten bucks on the plier black market. Just be sure to grind out the serial number before you use them for any murdery type stuff.

A 398 average but only a 421 OBP? This guy doesn’t draw enough walks for my taste.