About 10 years ago, I was at a rest station McDonald’s in upstate NY with my infant son sitting in a across from me in a high chair, when my son turned to his right and confusingly said “Papa?”. My wife and I looked over, and there I was, eating a burger, only this “me” was about a foot and a half shorter than real…

I have lived next to an airport, and I was sitting with my family inside a restaurant right next to where they pulled this shit on Saturday, and at that distance, both my wife and I thought it sounded pretty damn realistic.

This guy is one crafty player.

It looks very grounded to the grounds.

I think these cab-over vans are a blast to drive and don’t really inspire much rollover induced fear. Certainly nothing approaching Ford Explorer/Bronco II levels. During highway driving, if there are strong crosswinds, it can feel like you’re driving a sailboat, but that’s the only negative I can think of.  

He had hand reduction surgery so he could pretend his cock was bigger.

But are they Japanese or western cats?

For reals. I’m pretty sure the only reason I didn’t even make it to the NBA is because I fucked Beatrice Kardashian. What was I thinking?

I don’t think that’s the case here. Last Saturday I was skiing Cochran Ski Area in Vermont, and all of a sudden I was in some desert crashing into a fucking kangaroo. For some reason, slope wormholes a real bitch this year. 

I’m hoping they make a Voyager movie where the salamander babies grow up, build a ship capable of traveling at warp -10, then show up on earth, fully human, and write a book about their experience. This leads to both Paris and Janeway being thrown in prison for child endangerment.

It’s got to be... bigotry.

I just assumed it was the name of the first panda to ever race a Top Fuel dragster.

What’s really tragic is that he didn’t skate to this version.

It would be about as hard as flying Wonder Woman’s jet, although you’d look less ridiculous from the outside.

The problem with this video is that they keep showing the butterfly and it’s gorgeous and amazing, then they show they show the car and it’s blue. A nice blue, but not “recreated the butterfly” blue.

I want my entire interior in Vantablack for that perfect glare free experience. OK, maybe just the dashboard and the trim around the windows.

I use the exact same credit cards as my wife (a nice white lady), and she has never in her entire life been asked to show ID, whereas I do get asked fairly often. Of course, when I’m with her and paying, I’ve never been asked, presumably because I have the white person seal of approval.

I’m hoping they bring back on deck circle to batter’s box carts. 

Nope. There are only two things I believe in. No room for Honda.