The Gary Jules version lacks amazing shadow dancing. I swear, I could watch that part of the video all day long. Not because it’s particularly good, but because it nestles in comfortably into the “inexplicably, disturbingly fascinating” zone.

They’re just asking for slap fights.

I somewhat disagree with the premise of this article, but I could live with it. That is, until the toilet paper portion. Now you’ve veered into “what you talkin’ bout Willis” territory, and I hope the author chokes to death on a roll of Scott® tissue.

If there’s one trade I know, it’s big win, celebratory, pole climbing. I was so good at it that cities now hire me for my insights into big win, celebratory, pole climbing prevention. Not Philly. And let me tell you folks, they have not greased their poles correctly. For this to work, you need put a big glob at the…

Umm, almost anywhere outside my pillowcase? Inside my pillowcase seems like a near best case scenario.

I went for a swim at Silver Springs, and now macaques itchy.

I want a fridge with a screen on the front and cameras mounted on the roof and shelf bottoms so I can get a preview picture of where everything inside is. No more 3 minute searches for that little thing hidden in the back behind larger stuff. Add in some voice and image recognition and it could even tell you where…

In my experience, it gets more difficult for kids as they get older. We lost my dad suddenly a three of years ago and it seemed like all the grandkids around 6 and under handled it the best. They certainly loved Grandpa and were sad, but there was some level of emotional development that they hadn’t reached that made…

I had a guy call a delay of game on me because I didn’t give the ball back to him quickly enough after he checked it to me, so I called a technical foul on him.

Back when I played basketball, it was expected that I lie about my height, but I refused. I’m just a smidge over 6'5", and this would piss off the guys that were 6'3" or 6'4", because then they looked stupid claiming they were 6'5" while being obviously shorter than I. Often, when a brochure or something came out that…

After winter break in the mid 90s, to get to college, I had to drive from upstate NY to Southern California in a rusty 87 Buick LeSabre that I had bought on the cheap from my grandfather with the knowledge that it had a transmission that would likely shit the bed in the near future and need replacement. I made it to…

No thanks. The only time I use heated seats is when I’ve accidentally hit the switch, or my wife drove the car before me. I’ll be driving along, and suddenly I’m so hot I feel like I’m going to puke.

I always look impressively dashing and handsome in pictures. It’s mirrors, video, and real life where I look goofy as hell.

You don’t even need to go that high. I was wrong earlier. This is where 2000 grit sandpaper and a bit of stropping with some green polishing compound got me on the bottom of one of my chisels.

You could, but it might take days or weeks, no hyperbole here, to get there. But as Denver is to damn high says, you can get a mirror finish at much lower grits. I don’t sharpen my knives that much, but my bench chisels start to get a mirror finish at around 4000 grit, and a full mirror finish by 8000. Even then, you…

Might I contribute to “proud to own the 3 point zone!” guys legacy?

In my bookmarks I actually have a folder named “news” without quotes for real news sites and within it a sub-folder named ““news”” for the likes of Fox News and Breitbart. 

I really enjoyed TFA, mostly because I thought the characters were likable and it felt like Star Wars. That overcame the plot holes and the fact that it was a rehash of A New Hope with a smidge of Empire thrown in.

Those are great. I saw TFA on one. Unfortunately, I live in northern Vermont now, and I don’t think there are any closer than 3 1/2 hours away.

Theater seats do not agree with my body. How much will spoilers ruin the movie if I decide to wait to watch this in the comfort of my home?  I doubt I’ll be able to avoid them for months. For reference, knowing that Han Solo died would have been annoying, but wouldn’t have ruined TFA. Whereas, knowing that Vader was…