I’ve been dealing with celiac for about 25 years. I don’t really tell people about it, I just quietly come prepared with alternate food plans. The worst part for me now is when people find out, try and go the extra mile and prepare something special just for me. I really do appreciate the effort, but there’s a good…

And what happened to awesome 60s horror movie editing. For a few seconds, I thought he was jumping a pit of swords.

I had to look it up. I was 99% sure that “desk-pop” had to do with firing a gun, considering the subject matter, but I was clinging to that 1%, hoping in vain that it meant you liked my joke so much that it gave you an erection while sitting at your desk:(

I caused a similar ruckus at JFK during the Winter Olympics when I turned the volume up during the biathlon. And then fired my gun in the air.

I was thinking Isdera Imperator, but that sticks out way more.

Yeah, it’s really lacking something to give it that wow factor. Like glow in the dark floor mats or a periscope.

I don’t believe you. You regret nothing.

Ahh. I get it. Owing to South Africa’s nickname as the giant potato of Africa.

Dude needs to chill out. Maybe drink some Bailey’s or smoke some Grasse.

My favorite thing about this is that in a world of sculpted physical marvels, a guy that looks like a crossfitter that took a wrong turn on the way back from the bathroom just pulled a Secratariat.

Hugo Weaving? You mean that Nigerian guy?

I love that they’re putting up all these old posts.

The Yahoo Serious movie suggest that Australians should never ever want to show their faces in the northern hemisphere again.

Yeah, I don’t get this guy. His take on this sounds exactly like what you’d expect from your average, butt-hurt, Aussie. But then I read his twitter bio an it says:

So what happened to the forth guy? Did he drown? Is that why they look so happy? He drowned, but he was kind of a dick, and next time they get to race with Schlemy Knucklefart, who’s way cooler? Who actually won the race? I mean, I appreciate the photo of the naked men, but this post seems to be short on concrete…

Ugh. Those goddamn flying squirrels got into my sparkler stash again.

This looks like Aquaman saw the Batmobile and thought, “I can do that!”, but he couldn’t.

I joined a softball team made up of mostly British people that didn’t know what they were doing. I’m not bad, but I’m 6'5", 270 pounds, with a bit of a gut and a bit on the lumbering side of things. My first practice with them, everybody was hitting and rotating through all the positions. I think I was at second base,…

Something like this should at least be able to be a phone or fax if you need one.

I’m glad to see a no bullshit droid. With all the times that C3PO would say something like “R2 says the chances of successfully surviving this shitfest are approximately 7429 (dramatic pause) to 1”, how come no one ever came to the conclusion that R2 really sucked at calculating odds.