The car was registered to a “Zak Adama”, although in hindsight, it looks like the registration should never have been granted.

If you look at the on deck batter, you can see that he doesn’t give the normal “you don’t need to slide” gesture. Instead he just yells “Augustus, no!!!”

You’re gray, and suddenly I’m not. It could have been your Reddit comment, or maybe you just fell for the old rumspringa, gray/ungray, horse and buggy switcharoonie? You’ll never know.

You scoff, but these are the same sales tactics those weird bearded men in funny clothes used to get me to buy the horse and buggy that’s now rotting away in my backyard. Yeah, it doesn’t run on gas, but it turns out you need to feed the darn thing to keep it running.

That is an amazing Preparation H® impression that Reggie Bell is doing in the header image.

And it will be my lover, not my... wait. I don’t think I understand how this “applying lyrics to cars” joke works.

Oh, come on. You could have easily gone with all “F” sounds but you quit after just three words? Here you go.

This is getting out of hand. Maybe they should consider adding restrictor plates to the athletes mouths.

Too much CGI.

I’d like to see more car videos take the Vince Gilligan approach. Imagine a Pontiac Aztek setting the world record for toilets jumped filmed from inside one of the toilets.

For the record, They don’t like being called “horse people”. Centaur is the preferred nomenclature.

Why don’t they improve aerodynamic by attaching an inflatable, full sized, tractor trailer shaped hood ornament to the front of the car? It’s like these people never heard of self drafting.

-Where’s that cup I was using as a spittoon?

In this version of Superman, his secret identity is not that of a mild mannered reporter for the Daily Planet named Clark Kent, but a glasses-wearing, suspected child abuse cover-upper Cardinal Fabio Fabrizio. This poster just caught him mid-change. It’s going to be wild season!

I put a bowl of human blood in a pit in the middle of my sheep pastures. I’ve caught 6 Mustangs already this month. I have an endless supply of parts, and all the asshole revving emanating from the pit keeps predators at bay.

I think Neons were made of titanium alloy carbon fiber kevlar graphene aerogel composite... I think.

There’s a bit of that kind of aspiration in us all.

So does this go on the books as a net loss, or a net gain?

Uuuugh. This dude again? This is the man who beat me out in the invisible bar chin-up world championship last year. And he looked so nonchalant as he did it. I hate this guy. If he out-duels me in the luscious armpit hair championship this September, I will seriously need to consider not entering so many made up…

This reminds me of that time in the 2004 Olympics when a clearly confused Mandy Patinkin ran onto the field during the baseball gold medal game and murdered Antonio Alfonseca.