No wings necessary.

Are you sure? I could swear I saw that monkey on an episode of 20/20 charged with running one largest underground computer hacking clubs in the world. I suppose it could have been a different monkey.

Wow. Everything about those is amazing. The look. The names. The super high ride. Hopefully, little Opie Cunningham never had to make a trip to the ER after slipping of the front seat.

I will not give up on my dream of one day owning a ten speed bicycle with a gated shifter.

To me, saying you find these types of beers disgusting is like saying you find Sprite disgusting. Yes, sometimes you want to drink Mama Jenkins Cane Sugar Sassafras Garum Fizzy Lifting Tonic, and Sometimes you just want a Sprite.

In other news, the Knicks have just signed a familiar looking, but ultimately unknown player, who goes by the name “O.J. Miracle Whip”.

If we all just went back to riding horses, we’d never have to worry about this problem again.

I can’t. My one friend (who’s totally real, he just lives in Canada) might get jealous.

I wouldn’t brag about only having two friends.

This is a view of the Tesla in question from the back. I’m so sick of all these goddamn middle aged punks driving through my neighborhood blasting Harry Potter at 1 A.M. Some of us are Tolkien fans.

As it was foretold in Harry Potter and the Deathly Invisible Turning Truck.

But which three letters did he destroy? And why did it take 2 hours to drive up one hill. Did this happen in Hollywood CA, or Hollywood FL? Why don’t the Hollywood police have any record of the crime? Is a dash-cam a specialized piece of equipment for recording people sprinting short distances? Why am I typing? So…

After years and years of futility, the Lakers have finally found someone to fill the void left by Benoit Benjamin.

That Monkey stole the bears identity? Jesus Christ monkeys are smart. Just not smart in the area of personal protection.

It was a tough vote but it had to be done. Like voting for Hillary.

Plax, or it didn’t happen.

Free gas masks and Albuterol at the gate!

Some people are actually fans of bone spurs, like Brent Barry’s wife. Oh wait, no. I meant she likes to bone Spurs.

Iceland breaks world record for largest group self high-fives. England left hanging.