Mark Sanchez: [comes out of retirement]

Correct. Griffin went into Shanny’s office before his second season and refused to run 50 series (i.e., read-option).

I don’t know if that’s true though: from what I read didn’t RGIII go to Daniel Snyder after the first season and demand changes to the Offense that suited him pretty badly?

I don’t feel so well, Mr. Gibbs

You mean because all the Skins players move as though one of their legs is caught in a bear trap?

Being the browns from a few years ago implies you’re only a few years away from starting the season 2-4 and frankly that’s a pretty high bar to clear at this point

“I didn’t know NFL teams had homecoming games,” he said. “I thought that was a high school thing.” 

Sob regretfully. 

I look forward to this being the first porno featured on “How Did This Get Made??”.

I’d like to start a petition.. if the Dolphins go 0-16 then we no longer have to witness the 1972 Dolphins celebrate when the last undefeated team losses... watching them celebrate is insufferable.  

Looks like Peterson finally learned not to go for the switch.

The NBA has no F’s left to give. 

F is the 6th letter of the alphabet. Michael Jordan won 6 rings. Michael Jordan said he failed over and over again in his life. In college, failure is signified by the letter grade F. COINCIDENCE???!!!111!!1

They’re not the New York Fucks?

A former boss of mine (whom I adored when I worked with him) asked me to drinks with one of his colleagues, and I was young (25) and thought “networking” was important. We ended up in his hotel room so I could use the bathroom (and have one more glass of wine). Then he asked if he could kiss me (which was inappropriate…

Nuke it from Orbit

This gives a whole new meaning to the nickname “The Bulgarian Brute”

Seems a lot more likely they’d end up just having to replay the match in an empty stadium, or something like that.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I’ve gone to a man’s room late at night and he managed not to ass rape me.