Mid-December, 2002. I was having a shitty month. I was broke and stressed and miserable and trying to give my kid a Christmas and I was supposed to be leading my UU Church’s Winter Solstice service but I’d flaked out because my life was a disaster. Walked in to the sanctuary and OH DAMN WHO IS THAT GUY? The hottest…

Fucking hell. If you are older than 11, please put some fucking punctuation in that giant sentence.

I had just boarded a train and was looking for a seat. The train started to move unexpectedly and I fell face first into a guys lap. I said “I might as well introduce myself”, and we got to talking about books. We dated for awhile and told the “how we met” story to evvvveeryone.

I don’t know if this counts. My husband and I met on match.com and hit it off right away. A cute geologist? Sign me up! The meet cute part was, the first day I signed up he messaged me, or winked, or whatever it was, and he had decided that it was going to be his last day trying match if he didn’t get any responses.…

Gather round young whipper snappers and let me regale you with a tale of MySpace love.

I have said this time and time again about Steph and Ayesha Curry.  They are both beautiful and lovely people but it creeps me out that they look like brother and sister to me.  Just can’t get past it.

Exactly. You know how the CFPB made credit card companies put that handy little chart on the top of your statements that explains how long it’ll take you to pay off your balance and how much you’ll pay in total if you pay the minimum vs. a little bit more?

We call it “relationship tofu” - you don’t have a personality/style of your own; but you’re great at taking on whatever flavor your partner has. 

My husband and I are kinda proof of this theory - I don’t think we look terribly similar facially, but we’re both tall-ish blond people with big teeth and have been mistaken for brother and sister a few times, which is exactly as weird as one might expect :/.

In college and my early 20s, I had some body dysmorphia. I remember whining to my friends about other people who I found exquisitely beautiful (this was a super annoying time to be friends with me) and, when my friends and I did some FB sleuthing, they really irritatedly pointed out that the people I found so…

could be worse. I was in my parents’ house, complaining to a close friend about my (then) recent ex-fiancee. Eventually, got to “what did I even see in her,” and I swear to you at that moment I turned at saw my parents’ framed wedding photo, showing what may as well have been my dad and my ex. It was a…

Last year someone here (PolicyChick) called these types of couples “Doppelbangers” and I have used that term ever since.

I dated myself once. Like, found a guy who liked pretty much everything I liked. But also had my issues too. So that lasted about 3 dates, because you need someone who complements your being, not duplicates - you’ll double down on the good and the bad.

“Boss” to me represents I’m about to get grifted.

Feel free to add your own.

So folks are only respectful to you when they’re running a grift? That’s just sad, boss.

Bands that are a pain in the dick to search for, in no particular order:

Abide 

I will die upon the Hill of Dude. I am a man who came of age in the 80's when Dudes were Dudes and Bro’s had not yet harshed our Dudeness. A Dude is a man of relaxed character and mellow disposition, The Dude was called so for a reason.

Injury metaphors should be regional. I borrowed heavily from Burneko’s best state foods list. In no particular order: