In less than an hour it's shooting out the other end.

One of the few things in life that gives me solace is the craft beer selection on Amtrak is always 90 minute IPA. Not just 60 minute. Make it a double IPA, please. 

When I have children there will be a few sayings that they will hear over and over until I pass away.

Just do it! and Don’t let your dreams be dreams are absolutely on that list.

Same shit that people do on Amtrak if you eat chips too loud in the Quiet Car. It won’t stop people from doing what they do, but at least I’d feel secure knowing some faceless institution supported me in rooting out these shitbags.

in Portland we have “The Cat Rapper.” Seriously:

Jesus. With hobbies like this, I bet this guy is an extra virgin.

I don’t know. I’m over 40 and when I would travel for work facetime allowed my 3 year old to remember what I look like, and she loved it so much more than a phone call. That being said I only ever did it in a hotel room. Facetime-ing in public is barbaric.

No way does a storm trooper actually throw a pitch into the strike zone.

was gonna say the same thing. its just a quick way to acknowledge that you understood what the other person was saying; like, “meet you at the brewery at 8" or, “go get eggs on the way home from work”

I need you to post some audio of your wife talking in Stupid Drew voice. Could she possibly read us the Bears version of Why Your Team Sucks?

“Recently I have noticed a lot of people responding to text messages using the “Thumbs Up” emoji. Every time I receive this as a response to a text message it makes me furious.”

Isn’t it illegal to film or take pictures in bath/lockerooms in certain states? Or is that just live streaming? That douche youtube personality (lolol which one) got arrested for that a few months ago.

Also, for Triscuit, I love the original myself, but the Smoked Gouda and the Rosmary Olive Oil ones are freaking amazing (so are the other flavors, but those two are the best)

Who the FUCK FaceTimes in a gym locker room? Jesus Christ, people are the goddamn worst. I (a lady) once encountered a bachelorette party in the gym locker room, there for one of those pole-lates classes, and the bride’s mother was taking photos. I, standing there in a towel, was like “EXCUSE ME, NO PHOTOS IN THE…

Uhhh, if someone is on FaceTime in the gym locker room you call fucking security. That’s not remotely acceptable.

Last guy could have named his cat Kitty Purry, and if nothing else, he would have dominated the star count at Jezebel’s “Saturday Night Social” thread.

RE: The thumb emoji. I’m dating a girl and she does this all the time. I asked her and she said it was one of the default replies on her smart watch so she can acknowledge she saw what I said but not reply immediately.

I’m 34 and can’t tell if I’m just turning into the “get off my lawn” type of person. Please tell me I’m being rational.