I’m a sometime game show editor and you literally couldn’t stall your way to victory on Jeopardy, because they would just tell you to cut your shit and then would just pull the time up afterward to get through whatever minimum number of questions they wanted to get through. It’s not a live sporting event.

Inspired, Jamala launched into a stirring rendition of “That’s Amore”

How many times have you watched that? Because I don’t even care about the playoffs and I just watched that like 6 times

Is it OK for me to make that high-pitched “hiiiiiiiiiiii-ya ha ha ha” laugh that mariachi musicians do every time I take a drink? I mean, I can’t do that, but I wish I could.

I read that headline and thought it just meant that he made a really deep three in some pickup game and there was going to be a highlight in the article. This is much more depressing

“Real Sex takes a look inside the making of a dildo”

You know what would work better than that is if you could short a stock, then somehow create a public relations nightmare by, like, “representing” that company and beating one of their customers to a pulp and dragging them forcefully from the business, then releasing a viral video of it

Tulowitzki’s wife: (forgets Yaz)

My favorite Greek philosopher is Stegosaurus

I’m going to suggest that his left hand may be pale from wearing a golf glove in the sun on the regular

That guy really got across the stage fast. I’m trying to think of a word to describe the quick, fleeting motion with which he traversed the area and grabbed the trophy but it’s not coming to me. It was like he *sprung* across but that’s not quite right. Jolted across? No. Zipped across? Close but not quite using…